Michael Jackson turns 50 years old this year. I know what you're thinking: "But MJ doesn't look 50." And you're right. Because in order to look 50, our dear aging King of Pop would have to look human, and it's been a good long while since anything like that has happened. Thus, MJ is ageless. He's also noseless, penniless and brainless. In fact, the only thing the Great White-ish Black-ish Hope is full of is tips on how to get unruly 7-year-olds to settle down for a nice, long sleepover. None of this means we can't celebrate our love for the music, however, and since MJ can only be bothered to make public appearances when he's endangering the offspring of himself or others (this includes concert performances of any kind) we'll have to settle for a cover band. The world's No. 1 Michael Jackson... More >>>