Hawk On a Mike

I didn't take to Robert Hawkins the first time I saw his stand-up on Premium Blend. Sure, there were a few funny bits: "If you just act natural, you can swim in any hotel pool for half an hour." "You know who I hate the most? Others." But for the...

By Merritt Martin

November 22, 2007

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18855504",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17105533",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105532",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105535",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

I didn't take to Robert Hawkins the first time I saw his stand-up on Premium Blend. Sure, there were a few funny bits: "If you just act natural, you can swim in any hotel pool for half an hour." "You know who I hate the most? Others." But for the most part, he seemed sort of bland and pompous. Then I saw the former writer for and bro-in-law from Titus on the Late Late Show, and I changed my mind based on one routine. Hawkins went off on feet. Not just any feet, but gnarly, not-for-public-show feet that inexplicably end up accessorized with rings and shit. As he howled about how a mangled toe (referred to at one point as a "haunted branch"—awesome) should be clad in an AquaSock and never displayed. Amen. I approve. I stamp my seal of "I don't know if it ranks as funny, but dammit I like what he has to say and I'd love to never see a creepy foot again" approval all over that gangly, freckled mofo. The rest of you Dallasites can go see Hawkins at the Addison Improv, 4980 Belt Line Road, Friday through Sunday and see if he tackles any of your deep-seated issues. Tickets are $15. Good foot hygiene is priceless. Call 972-404-8501 or visit improvclubs.com.
Wed., Nov. 21, 8:30 p.m.; Nov. 23-24, 8 & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., Nov. 25, 7:30 p.m., 2007

KEEP THE OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.

Merritt Martin has written for the Dallas Observer for over two decades. She has also contributed to Eater, DMN and USA Today. In addition to arts and culture writing, she spends entirely too much time extolling the virtues of pears, black clothing, and her cat Kenneth.

Contact: Merritt Martin

Follow:

Instagram: @merrittmartinhere