The running joke is that this is the only theater in town with a longer line at intermission for the men's room than the ladies'. That gives you some idea how the audience tips. That they're gay gentlemen would be almost beside the point except that the Uptown Players troupe targets the gay male theatergoer season after sellout season, with Charles Busch drag comedies, raucous musicals such as Valley of the Dolls and edgy dramas by leading gay playwrights. Everyone's welcome, of course, at Uptown, and the loyal subscribers always are eager to bring newcomers into the fold. No audience laughs louder, weeps more unabashedly and applauds with more unbridled enthusiasm.

Movie ticket prices are into the double digits at most theaters, but there's still at least one theater in the area where you can see not just one but two new films for just $6. Galaxy Drive-In offers eight new movies on four screens every night, and you can watch two for less than some theaters charge for a single matinee ticket—from your car, folding chair or picnic blanket. Better yet, there are surprisingly affordable snack-bar munchies such as pizza, nachos and funnel cakes. The prices aren't the only thing that's retro, either. Promotional ads at intermission are straight out of the '50s, upping the nostalgia factor. Get there early to ensure you snag a good spot with time to spare for a $3 round of miniature golf.

Technology, shmechnology. Bluetooth, Blu-ray, blah, blah, blah. Toys are terrific and gadgets are great, but these modern times can turn tiresome. A litany of life's simpler pleasures is but a stone's throw down Interstate 35 where another dimension awaits. Troubles melt and tempers tame as you cross the border into a time gone by at Scarborough Renaissance Festival. Located in historic Waxahachie, this seasonal Renaissance-themed fest is based on the year 1533 during the reign of Tudor monarch Henry VIII. Visit 200 "shoppes" featuring handmade wares, take in a demonstration of glassblowing, blacksmithing or candlemaking, catch three full-combat jousts each day, watch a winged falcon overhead or mingle with "Queen Anne Boleyn." Full-bodied food is a favorite feature, and more than 20 tons of the festival's famous giant turkey legs are devoured annually, along with more than 60 other hearty foods that comprise the culinary adventure at this quaint 35-acre "village." And when the throat becomes parched, convey yourself to one of seven pubs and taverns and hoist a pint with a kindly innkeeper or, better yet, a lusty wench. What ho!

Bootcamp trainer Scott Colby, known as "The Abs Expert," offers free group classes every other Saturday morning at the bleachers and track at SMU's Westcott Field. In 45 minutes, Colby leads a grueling but doable workout that includes bleacher-running, push-ups, skipping, jogging, crunches and squats. The intense routine works the whole bod and leaves even the fittest participants ready to flop. Then Colby and crew head to a nearby juice joint to do a little socializing. Some 244 members have signed onto the free Meetup group, but there are usually around 20 to 30 who show up regularly. Beginners and newcomers are welcome, and Colby will help modify all the moves for first-timers. Bring water and a willingness to sweat, and in under an hour you're that much fitter. And for free!

Enough with overpriced happy hours and the sad effects of forgoing dinner for the movie theater: popcorn tummy. Ew. Instead, head to the Dallas Museum of Art's perfect date, the Late Night. On the third Friday of each month, our beloved purveyor of fine art stays open till Cinderella's curfew. For 10 bucks or less (DMA members and tykes under 12 get in for free), visitors can enjoy art, live music performances, movie screenings (past events have included classics, indie, new releases and art flicks), family activities, lectures and more. And you don't even have to put on heels after that bitch of a work week. Each month brings a new theme and a new chance to work a little casual culture into the weekend. See the new Judd Apatow on Saturday; hit up the DMA for some hot Late Night action come the third Friday.

Horror films are great. Nothing beats a good scare and some really bad acting. Nothing except local artist E.J. Antilla's Horror Remixes. As the Web site boasts, it's "All Killer, No Filler" when Antilla edits down B-rated horror flicks (think Hell High, Silent Night Deadly Night 2, Slumber Party Massacre and the like) to 30- or 40-minute flicks without all the lame side-plots and stupid dialogue. Each film's Horror Remix is basically a greatest hits of itself—gratuitous nudity, gore, sex and some seriously bad hair. All of Antilla's remixes are available for download or pop-up viewing on his site, and occasionally he'll hit the town with themed screenings. And for the blog followers, Antilla offers epilogues for most features with commentary from Thunderclap and Cheesecake (puppets with very particular tastes). Go see for yourself...but lock all the doors and windows first.

Don't know who'll be there when the roll is called up yonder...but here's where lots of folks will be when their number is called down here. Gaybingo is the silliest fun you can have on the third Saturday of the month. This long-running hit is one of Dallas' hottest GLBT events. Hosted by drag divas Jenna Skyy and former Miss Gay America Patti LePlaeSafe, this ain't your Maw-Maw's bingo, although she might be there in the crowd of hundreds whooping, hollering and hooting. Recently relocated to posh digs in the Rose Room, this high-octane game night features polished production numbers, full service bars and chances to win prizes and cash. Lavish themes are announced in advance, and attendees are encouraged, though not required, to participate. Careful not to break rules or throw 'tude lest you find yourself at the mercy of the BVDs: Bingo Verifying Divas, the fierce drag queens who keep order as they roll through the crowd on inline skates, tossing one-liners and insults. The event also benefits the Resource Center of Dallas, a nonprofit organization dedicated to serving the GLBT and HIV/AIDS communities. Tickets go quickly, but if you get in—Bingo!—you're in for some outrageous fun.

Gay guys get old too. And this social organization relishes and reveres the more mature man. DFW Prime Timers offer social, educational and self-improvement activities for mature gay and bisexual men and their admirers. General meetings (guests welcome) are held on the third Sunday afternoon of each month at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in the Oak Lawn area. Being a part of Prime Timers can help widen a circle of friends with an endless array of scheduled and spontaneous events. Older gay men use the group to meet and relax with friends who appreciate and respect the accomplishments of a life long lived. This isn't your auntie's sewing circle, however. These still vital gents are young at heart and ready to roll with regular potluck dinners, movie nights, picnic outings, restaurant dining and theater trips. Sub-groups of this club are doing something nearly every day of the week. You're never too old to come out, you know.

Adair's is cool, if a little small. Hell, if you didn't know where it was, you might walk right past it—well, if your ears were somehow covered. Adair's makes up for its lack of stature by bringing in more than its fair share of bands to play on its right-by-the-front-door stage. And though the stage isn't necessarily exclusive to hosting country bands, it sure tends to lean that way most of the time. Plus, the bar's biggest draw happens to be a country act; The King Bucks, the area's most revered country cover band not named Boys Named Sue play the stage every Monday night to an attentive crowd of well-lubricated regulars by the bar.

Within every straitlaced lady there's a stripper busting to get out. Or so they think at the Girls Room, where the emphasis is on sexy exercise, not sleaze. There is something sort of nicely naughty, though, about classes called Beginners Pole Dancing and Intro to Burlesque. Learning to bump and grind in a safe environment is merely an avenue to self-empowerment and getting into shape, says founder Karyn Pentecost. Yoga, belly-dancing, "Pole-lates" and other variations of movement instruction also focus on feminine fitness. Sorry, no guys allowed, no matter how much greenery you throw at the scenery.