Best Pissin' Match 2009 | Mark Cuban vs. Ross Perot Jr. | Best of Dallas® 2020 | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Dallas | Dallas Observer
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Best Pissin' Match

Mark Cuban vs. Ross Perot Jr.

Watching billionaires scrap over millions is almost as fun as watching bikini-clad women mud wrestle. Almost. When Perot sold the Mavericks to Cuban in 2000, he held on to a small slice of the pizza. And when his Hillwood Development Co. lost its ass in the failed Victory Park ghost town, he decided it was Cuban's illegal shenanigans that were keeping him from being delivered extra toppings. Clueless as an owner, Perot was also naïve trying to pick what he thought would be a private fight with a very public figure. Cuban's response to Perot's lawsuit was akin to Samuel L. Jackson's Pulp Fiction character commanding, "Well, allow me to retort." Cuban accused Perot of being "desperate" and looking for "nickels in the sofa" while lamenting not buying out Perot's ownership stake in 2000. Ouch.

Best Place to Watch an Athlete Watch Sports

Ten Sports Grill

They go to Bob's Steak & Chop House when they're hungry. They flitter over to Dragonfly at Hotel ZaZa when they want to get their drink on. But when rich and famous athletes want to hunker down and watch sports over a cold beer in a hot spot, they congregate at Ten. At the corner of Main and Field, the downtown sports bar has hosted such celebs as Steve Nash (who stopped by to watch some English soccer), Charles Barkley (who stopped by to watch some NBA Playoffs) and Shaquille O'Neal (who stopped by because he knew he'd be recognized, but not mobbed). Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard, Eduardo Najera and even the band Puddle of Mudd have been known to pop in. SMU hoops coach Matt Doherty is a regular. With nine hi-def plasmas, a prime location adjacent to Hotel Adolphus and just the right dash of ambience and anonymity, Ten has become the Bo Derek of Dallas sports scenes.

Best Play-by-Play Voice

Brad Sham, Cowboys

Seems a safe bet that this is one of the most competitive categories in this whole damn book. In this corner, you have Eric Nadel, iconic voice of the Texas Rangers for more than 30 years. In this corner, you have Ralph Strangis 'n' Darryl Reaugh, the only hockey announcers North Texas has ever known. Yet standing in the middle, stiff-arming the competition, stands Sham, Dallas' version of Vin Scully. Other than his smooth, understated delivery and unapproached knowledge of his subject, the great thing about Sham is his refusal to be a sugarcoated Cowboys shill. After last December's embarrassing 44-6 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in which the Cowboys pussed out and were peed on, Sham told his audience, "This is a ridiculous embarrassment...There's not enough Maker's Mark in the world to take the sting out of this one." Bravo!

Best Player We Hated to See Leave

Brandon Bass, Mavericks

On a generally unathletic Dallas Mavericks team, Bass stuck out like Jesse Owens amongst Amish seamstresses. Though undersized, he played like a 7-footer. He scrapped for loose balls. He pogo-sticked for rebounds. He elevated for jump shots. He will be missed. The worst part? In return the Mavs get exactly nada. While general manager Donnie Nelson was rubbing his hands together in anticipation of the arrival of Marcin Gortat, Bass slipped out the side door to the Orlando Magic as a free agent. When Orlando decided to keep Gortat, the Mavs' already inferior interior was gutted. Not that Bass was an All-Star, but next time you see Erick Dampier fumble a pass into the second row, betcha you'll miss his soft hands and thunderous dunks. Right?

Best Pro Coach

Rick Carlisle, Mavericks

Yuck, what's that? Sorry, please excuse the tarnish on the hardware, but this award is sorta by default. How can it not be? Ron Washington almost got fired. Wade Phillips should've been fired. Dave Tippett did get fired. Not sure who FC Dallas' coach is these days, but considering their utter irrelevance, he likely will be fired before you read our 2010 "Best of" issue. As for Carlisle, he pushed the Mavs into the second round of the NBA Playoffs by molding his style to his talent. He's not exactly Don Nelson in experimental basketball, but compared with Avery Johnson's flexibility he's practically Gumby. Early in the season, Carlisle pitched the keys to Dallas' offense to Hall of Fame point guard Jason Kidd. The result? The Mavs weren't great, but they were as good as they could be.

Best Ranger

Michael Young

The enduring face of the franchise has given us 10 good years. We'll give him 10 bad days. Initially told about moving to third base to make way for hotshot shortstop Elvis Andrus, Young bitched and moaned and woe-is-me'd his way into hints about being traded. Then he calmed down. Then he showed up to spring training. Then he started fielding like a Gold Glove third baseman. Then he started rifling his way toward yet another 200-hit season. Then he became an All-Star, again. After the brief hiccup, he re-established that he's a good player and a great role model during a really crappy era that's looking better by the day. Michael, we officially excuse you. And, lookie here, we also honor you.

Best Reason to Live in Frisco

Fieldhouse USA

You might think that Frisco is just a tree-barren concrete jungle of McMansions housing white-bread kids whose idea of diversity is having the option of eating ketchup on their cheeseburgers instead of mayo. And you might be right. But within the northern exurb of 100,000-plus citizens are some fairly attractive destinations, not the least of which is Fieldhouse USA, which is meant to provide an amazing sports venue for these same kids. The 144,000-square-foot, state-of-the-art indoor sports facility features 12 basketball courts (reconfigurable for volleyball or whatever), a turf-laden field for indoor soccer, flag football, kickball and lacrosse. Its "there's a sport for everyone" philosophy includes older coots too, who can join a fitness boot camp or an adult soccer or basketball league if their backs and knees will let them.

Best Sports Moment

Nastia Liukin Wins All-Around Gold

In a year in which our four major teams produced only one victorious playoff round, we had to look halfway around the world for goose bumps. Following in the historic footsteps of Allen's Carly Patterson, the bee-boppin' Plano gymnast nailed clean routines in four events on August 15, 2008, to capture the women's all-around gold medal in Beijing. Liukin became one of the faces of the Summer Olympics, her spunk and spontaneity leading to five overall medals. It was the most dominating performance by a U.S. Olympics gymnast since Mary Lou Retton also won five medals in 1984. In the wake of her triumph, Liukin was celebrated as an American hero, appearing on everything from Oprah to Wheaties boxes. More important, her glittering gold night in China cemented Plano's World Olympics Gymnastics Academy as the center of the U.S. tumbling universe.

Best Star

Loui Eriksson

Pondered giving this award to Sean Avery but, on second thought, he's a selfish asshole who alienated an entire locker room before forcing his way outta town and the NHL with his "sloppy seconds" comment. So we reconsidered, and gave it to the best of—let's be honest—some bad choices. In a forgettable, playoff-less season immediately sabotaged by injuries and Avery, left winger Eriksson was one of the few glimpses that wasn't grotesque. He led the Stars in goals (36) and plus-minus (+14) and contributed seven power-play goals and four game-winners. So bad were the Stars that it cost coach Dave Tippett his job. With another season like 2008, Eriksson can feel safe in keeping his.

Best Stiff-Arm to Male Chauvinism

High School Girls 61, 40-Something Guys 44

The concept, hatched during a boys' trip to the Super Bowl, was simple. Men are better athletes than women. In turn, old boys can kick the basketball ass of young girls. Unlike most ideas light-bulbed by The Ticket, this one flick-flick-flickered and finally died a brutal and humiliating death. On a March night at SMU's Moody Coliseum, a team of Ticket hosts jumped to a 21-14 lead before being run down and eventually run over by a team of girls from Lake Highlands High School. It wasn't exactly Billie Jean King humbling Bobby Riggs, but it was a significant win for women to see middle-aged braggarts reduced to a puddle of fart 'n' fall-downs. Said The Ticket's Donovan Lewis, "It was a bad combination of age and gas." Title Nein indeed.

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