Big D and the Kennedys

So yeah, our fine city is most known for one devastating day, the Grassy Knoll, that presidential X-marks-the-spot. While America remains obsessed with our version of the royal family, the name Kennedy has been sadly associated with Dallas since 1963 and probably will be forever. If you search the Internet,...

By Patrick Williams

May 30, 2006

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So yeah, our fine city is most known for one devastating day, the Grassy Knoll, that presidential X-marks-the-spot. While America remains obsessed with our version of the royal family, the name Kennedy has been sadly associated with Dallas since 1963 and probably will be forever. If you search the Internet, you can still find copies of JFK Reloaded, a controversial 2004 game that lets players relive JFK's fatal journey. Now, Blockdot, a Dallas-based advergaming firm, offers us a less lethal alternative to retracing the ultimate Kennedy route with a far more entertaining and light-hearted jab at the current line-up of sinnin' Kenns with Drive Like a Kennedy on its Kewlbox Web site.

Take your chances of driving like Senator Ted and earn bonus points for picking up "golden lobbyist coins" and pink elephants while trying not to damage your car. Pick up bonus coins and prescription capsules while steering like Representative Patrick and, that's right, avoid damaging your car. The goal for both Kennedys is Capitol Hill, and the real difficulty (naturally) lies in the increased simulated inebriation that occurs the more points you pick up and the more dings and fender benders you incur. Of course, after the car is totaled (and I don't care if you draw Ted or Patrick, you're going to total the damn car), the responsible folks over at Blockdot remind all players to never drive under the influence (ie., "Like a Kennedy") and to "vote often." But our favorite parts are definitely the Kennedy-esque vocal tracks ("Wheh ah the ladies at?" and "I can't feel my toes" are fine examples), being unable to avoid flipping the car off the trailer truck and the poignant music denoting our drunken failure. Ah, so this is what it's like to be a Kennedy for a day. --Merritt Martin

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Patrick Williams is editor-in-chief of the Dallas Observer. Before joining the staff in July 1997, Patrick worked for the Southern Illinoisan, Amarillo Globe News and San Antonio Express-News. As editor-in-chief, he oversees the newsroom and guides the coverage of both the Dallas Observer’s printed publication and online website.

Contact: Patrick Williams