You can't make this shit up: the homepage of The Dallas Morning News right now. Catch the "Is It Lunch Yet?" headline for another story just below. Answer: It was lunch, but we think we'll skip it. Note to Morning News headline writers: "Investigates" is a high falutin' word for things you can Google. Might we suggest you review Spotlight or All the President's Men to get an idea of what an investigation is? Also note: In daily newspapers, the correct nomenclature is "feces and urine." In children's books, it's "poop and pee."