Dear Mexican: How come there are a bunch of fair-skinned European-looking guys running Mexico? When I am in Mexico, I see them having power lunches in fine restaurants, driving Beemers and escorting absolutely breathtaking women with long legs and high cheekbones around town. Who are these guys? How can I become one of them?
—Chico Amante
Dear Gabacho: Mexico has had a full-blooded Indian (Benito Juarez), a half-Mixtec (Porfirio Diaz), an Afro-Mexican (Vicente Guerrero) and many mestizos as presidents, and a Lebanese-Mexican (Carlos Slim) is its richest man; the United States de Gabachos has had one negrito, a Dutch cabrón, and a mick serve as president in a cavalcade of Caucasians.
I came to this country from Mexico with my parents when I was 4 years old; I'm now 22. My parents didn't try to file for papers for themselves. I'm attending community college at Santa Ana College; as you know, I have to pay a million times more because of my residential status. But when I first heard about this DREAM ACT, I thought that it could be my savior financially. Because of that same issue, I'm only taking two classes this fall semester, and it STILL totaled more than $400 with books and all. What exactly would the DREAM ACT mean if it did pass for students like myself?
—Dreaming My Life Away
Dear Secular Saint: Your astronomical community college fees are a result of bonehead administrators and largely independent from the question of citizenship. And I'll tell you and your fellow Dreamers the same thing I've been telling ustedes for years about your plight: Keep the faith. Although the future seems hopeless, look at all the progress that has been made in just the past couple of years: the coming out of the shadows by so many undocumented youths, unafraid about pendejo politicians. The flowering of amazing artwork by Dreamers such as Julio Salgado, the Mexican's former intern whose posters have drawn national acclaim and are at nearly every Dreamer rally. The pushing of the issue into the national debate. Sure, Know Nothings will try their damndest to stop Dreamers and other undocumented folks from ever attaining citizenship, but the war is already won; it's just the rest of the country that's just realizing this.
