Because, look, your ride just ain't safe. KXAS-Channel 5 has the story of the "brick-wielding vandals" targeting cars in East Dallas. In all, more than 24 folks had their cars smashed up late Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning -- without anything being stolen. Alas, this no-really? note at the bottom of the piece: "Dallas police suggested residents park their vehicles in garages instead of out on the street."
And then this: KTVT-Channel 11 ran a piece last night about a "rash of tire boots" kicking ass in Deep Ellum and downtown. Who's to blame? Not the city. Nope, says Barry Annino, it's Parking Company of America, which he says booted his car in a parking lot Annino, um, owns. (If you've been booted, you definitely don't wanna look here. Not at all. Never.) And then there's this piece from WFAA-Channel 8 about the need for new street signs -- federally mandated because of, ya know, "older drivers." No, not you, Mom.