Sorry--it's getting on in the afternoon. I should have started this sooner, but I've been working out some statistics.
See, last week one of our dozen or so readers, TLS, failed to make our list of non-winners. She then vowed to sprinkle her comments with the word "cougar" until she reached the status of non-winner once again.
According to some quick calculations, she managed a cougar comment rate of 44%--or roughly the same as Donovan McNabb's completion percentage on Sunday. For that feat, we will happily present her with the artificial corks from the first two bottles of 7-Eleven wine ever opened in the city of Dallas. They have an estimated cash value of $375.
For the rest of you, we have nothing. And we will be awarding it to the following readers:
Anonymous, responding to Appetite For Instruction's taco pizza recipe:
"Actually my favorite is the "Deluxe Nacho" pizza- it reminds me of
Pizza Hut's Taco Pizza from the 80's. You know before Pizza Hut sucked."
We like the comment. But we also respect someone who remembers a time before Pizza Hut sucked.
DudeFood's visit to The Porch drew a couple eye-catching remarks. From
mo: "Now I'm craving a Stodg Burger. And I vowed never to eat anything
that was a combination of five different animal sources." And from
Donny: "meat, egg and buns? sounds like porn."
Hmm...DudeFood caused one person to abandon their morals and another to reveal a lack of morals. Good stuff.
On The Range sent knottygirl in to food rapture, which we also
appreciate: "I still dream of a veal milanese I ate for lunch in a
little restaurant in Venice on a cold, rainy day. I asked a souvenir
seller where my friends and I could find a good, cheap restaurant, and
he steered us to a place where we were the only tourists. No frills,
just fantastic (and cheap) food. I've never found anything close to it,
even in some very expensive Italian restaurants."
This week's Top 10 inspired bruce: "Holy shit I miss those Carnation
Breakfast Bars. That was way back in the day before my impending
alcoholism robbed me of my sweet tooth. I pounded those things. I could
eat those things with impunity because they were "breakfast bars" which
inferred some sort of nutritional value. I look for those motherfuckers
everytime I go to a new grocery store. I would drive to a very bad part
of town if I thought I could score some of those wonderful treats."
We're with you, bruce.
Gotta love the sentiment in Matt's response to Veggie Guy and his
search for vegan meat: "Man, as a carnivore, I'm having the opposite
problem. My faux vegetable products have really gone downhill in the
last few months. Right now, the only things worth making a decent salad
out of are the Eckrich pressed-pork Karrots and the Hickory Farms
shaved-beef Leefy Lettice."
Actually, if there were pressed pork Karrots, we'd buy them. Well, Noah would buy them.
TLS almost doesn't win with this well considered comment in response to
(Un)sound Bites: "You know what I find amusing is when these chain
restaurants advertise their executive chefs. I recall seeing something
recently for the Maggiano's Willow Bend chef and the Macaroni Grill in
Plano's chef. I really don't want to take away any kudos or recognition
from them. I know they work very hard. But they have to follow the
formula sent down from corporate so what sets that guy apart from the
other company outposts? Are they able to come up with their own
individual dinner specials?"
But the biggest non-winner of the week is DallasDude, for this
cougar-related comment: "Cowboys are doing well, but I have my ching on
the Carrollton Cougars. Mean bunch of divorced and angry soccer moms
that kick ass and stay drunk... like the 80's era Cowboys."
On Monday, we'll start getting the 6-2 'Boys acquainted with Green Bay.
