Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Defibrillators: 2011 Big Tex Choice Awards Finalists Named

You hear that? It's your heart saying, "Aww crap." The State Fair of Texas announced its eight finalists for the 2011 Big Tex Choice Awards and once again, this contest is offering up a delicious-sounding group of fried awful-for-you.Ready to stand in line for some deep-fried Texas salsa, fried bubblegum...

By Alice Laussade

August 31, 2011

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You hear that? It's your heart saying, "Aww crap." The State Fair of Texas announced its eight finalists for the 2011 Big Tex Choice Awards and once again, this contest is offering up a delicious-sounding group of fried awful-for-you.

Ready to stand in line for some deep-fried Texas salsa, fried bubblegum and "El Bananarito?" So are we. Click on for the list.

8 Finalists for 2011 Big Tex Choice Awards

Buffalo chicken in a flapjack

Take a buffalo chicken strip, coat it in flapjack batter, roll that in jalapeno breadcrumbs. Fry it. Throw it on a stick and serve it with syrup. Oh snap.

Deep Fried Pineapple Upside Down Cake

Fresh pineapple ring, dipped in cake batter. FRY IT!!!! coat with caramel, sugar, cinnamon and a cherry on top.

Deep Fried Texas Salsa

Salsa dipped in masa, covered in tortilla chips. FRYYYYYYYYY IIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!! Serve with queso.

El Bananarito

Get a banana. FRY. THAT. JUNK!!! Roll in flour tortilla, top with whipped cream, powdered sugar, cinnamon and vanilla extract. And caramel or chocolate. Your choice.

Fried Autumn Pie

Puff pastry filled with pumpkin, cream cheese, powdered sugar and fall spices. FRY IT! FRY IT! FRY IT!

Fried Bubblegum

It's not bubblegum, FYI. Bubblegum-flavored marshmallow. FUH. RY. IT!!!!!! Decorated with a swirl of icing and powdered sugar. Holy hell.

Hans' Kraut Ball

Browned pork sausage, onion, garlic, sauerkraut (uh oh. crowd-dividing ingredient), mustard and "tasty seasonings" rolled into A BALL!!!!! AND THEN FRIIIIIIIIIIIIED!!!!!! Served with your choice of spicy mustard, raspberry chipotle or Ranch.

Walking Taco

Seasoned hamburger meat, lettuce, onion, tomato, cheese, sour cream and salsa... served in a Doritos® bag? ...Not fried? We. But. Wait -- um. What the balls? Fry the bag. Fry it. Fry. It. Fry. It. Fry. It!

Finalists will compete for Best Taste and Most Creative titles this Labor Day. Predictions? Our money's on that fried tamale pretending to be fried salsa for Best Taste.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.

Contact: Alice Laussade