I'm over super-sized onion rings. They first made their appearance at steakhouses and burger joints but have become increasingly popular at bars everywhere. Often stacked like a tower to the heavens, they arrive precariously ready to topple and litter your table in shards of fried breading.
Katy Trail Ice House features rings the size of Hula Hoops. Your great aunt could use them as bracelets if you weren't busy with your knife and fork trying to saw off a manageable bite, and it's that sawing action that ruins everything. The breading shears from the onion and falls apart, and the pieces are impossible to impale with a fork.
Think you can use your hands? You know what's going to happen. Take one bite and the whole onion ring pulls out and droops from your mouth like a slender floppy tongue. Now you're left with an empty shell, a broken heart, greasy fingers and no napkins.
Onion rings should be small. They should be made with tender sweet onions, be able to fit in the condiment cup that accompanies then and consumed in one bite or two. I get it. We're in Texas, and everything is bigger and better, but with onion rings it's not the size but the flavor and texture that count.
Follow City of Ate on Facebook & Twitter. Follow me at @scottreitz
