Alan Ball

Move Free or Die Hard: Thoughts on If and How the Cowboys Can Stop Sucking

Jonathan Bales is the founder of DallasCowboysTimes.com, a site dedicated to film study and statistical analysis of the Cowboys. As the seconds ticked away in the Cowboys' prime-time loss to the Giants on Sunday, Cowboys fans were left with that familiar taste in their mouths. (You know the one -- ... More >>

Dallas Theater in 2011: Give it a Standing O

What a year it has been. What a fine theater town we're in.

Cowboys 27, 49ers 24 (OT): My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. Like me, were you scared to death that Jesse Holley was going to fumble while holding the ball up in premature exclamation at the end of his 77-yard overtime catch? 9. Rob Ryan may be a defensive genius, but it doesn't show when he has Anthony Spencer trying to cover tight end ... More >>

Tony Romo Just Can't Help Himself

That's why he keeps on hurting himself and his team.

Jets 27, Cowboys 24: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. Tony Romo negated some great throws -- you'll never see a prettier pass than the 64-yarder to Jason Witten -- with some bone-headed plays. His interception to Darrelle Revis should've never been thrown and how was everyone except the quarterback ready for the snap with :08 ... More >>

If You're a Cowboy$ Fan, on 9/11 Prepare to Cry. And Cringe.

​Sunday night at MetLife Stadium the New York Jets will hand out American flags to every fan, and an ass-whipping to America's Team. Remember the part about not betting with your heart, but your head? This is a primo example. I want the Cowboys to win their NFL regular-season open ... More >>

Dallas-Denver: Cowboys 53-Man Roster Projection

​Yes, thanks for asking, I am indeed ready for some football. And tonight we'll all get a smidge, in the form of Cowboys-Broncos in Arlington at 7:30. Jason Garrett said he plans to play his starters a series, or about 8 to 12 plays. Same with the Broncos and their new coach John Fox. ... More >>

Hook, Line and Stinker: The Cowboys' Catch and Release of Nnamdi Asomugha

After an epic swing and miss at the NFL's No. 1 free agent, the Cowboys are off and crawling at training camp.

2011 Dallas Cowboys Training Camp Day 9: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. To accommodate the veterans who will practice with the team for the first time tonight and to give those fans who get off work later a chance to see their 'Boys, the team has moved its 2:30-5:30 practice this afternoon to 6:30-9:30 tonight at The Alamodome. Players like Doug Free an ... More >>

2011 Dallas Cowboys Training Camp Day 8: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. Impressed yesterday that -- on a players day off -- 6th-round draft choice and receiver Dwayne Harris was running sprints and routes. All by his lonesome. 9. Mat McBriar isn't exactly Rob Ryan, but he's departing pudgy and heading toward fat. McBriar pulled his hamstring running in ... More >>

Cowboys Training Camp 2011: Top 5 To-Do List

Well, are you ready for some?​Arrived in San Antonio this morning and will attend owner Jerry Jones' State of the Franchise press conference at 3 p.m. in The Alamodome. (After an off-season of relative silence and so many topics to cover, this baby could go 90 minutes.) In the post-lockout ... More >>

In Five Women Wearing the Same Dress, Bridesmaids From Hell Heat Up Contemporary Theatre

Plus: A dead soldier brings Second Thought to life in Dying City.

Cowboys' 2011 NFL Draft: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. The pick of Southern Cal offensive lineman Tyron Smith isn't sexy, but it's savvy. Thumbs up. And he says he doesn't like jewelry. Two thumbs up. 9. Fifth-rounder and former Cedar Hill star Josh Thomas is physical and a good tackler in the secondary, but you wonder about a four-year ... More >>

My Mock NFL Draft: Don't Miss It, Even if Your Wife's in Labor

Tyron Smith: The next Dallas Cowboy?​The Cowboys need help at safety. Their 2010 pass defense was the worst in the 50-year history of the storied franchise and two culprits were Gerald Sensabaugh and Alan Ball. Problem: The Cowboys won't take a safety with the 9th pick in tonight's NFL Draf ... More >>

Cowboys Covet Doug Free. Gerald Sensabaugh? Notsamuch.

​A year ago Doug Free was a question mark. Now he's an exclamation point. The Dallas Cowboys professed their love for their left tackle yesterday, placing the highest possible tender on him as the NFL prepares for unchartered and unsettling free agency in the midst of a labor lockout. Under t ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys' Draft Needs: How About a Safe(ty) Pick

​Enough of this asinine stuff about "best player available." What if, somehow, at No. 9 in April's NFL Draft that player happens to be a tight end? A weakside linebacker? A punter? Or, God and Tim Cowlishaw forbid, a quarterback? Under that premise, the Cowboys - 6-10 and desperate for help ... More >>

Packers 31, Steelers 25: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. Can't believe I just watched Troy Polamalu play like Alan Ball. And James Harrison like Anthony Spencer. I know Harrison had a sack, but for the most part those playmakers were non-factors. 9. Biggest play of the game was Rashard Mendenhall's fumble at Green Bay's 36 on the first pl ... More >>

Can Dallas Cowboys fans forgive new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan for the sins of his father?

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones can get more out of new head coach Jason Garrett by being less controlling. But is that possible?

Cowboys 14, Eagles 13: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​How about a nice round of applause for Sam Merten? Nice job, Sam. Splendid actually. Thank you. And with that ... we now return to your regularly scheduled Sportatorium. 10. A year ago the Cowboys finished the regular season with a win over the Eagles. This year the Cowboys finished the regu ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys: The Defense Rests

​A proud franchise that once upon a time won Super Bowls behind a Doomsday Defense is these days shackled to the most disappointing season in team history by a defense that is simply doomed. Back in training camp down in The Alamodome in San Antonio, head coach Wade Phillips trumpeted&nb ... More >>

Cowboys 33, Giants 20: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. It took all of one play to smack you in the kisser with the fact that these were not your same ol' Stumbledoofus Cowboys. Bruised ribs and all, cornerback Terence Newman tackled Mario Manningham for a 2-yard loss after a catch on New York's first play. Against the Packers last week ... More >>

If I Was Jason Garrett ...

​The new/interim head coach of the Dallas Cowboys made some changes on his first day in charge at Valley Ranch. Mostly, players were met by this message -- in all caps, and in red -- on the daily grease board when they arrived: FULL PADS. "I was like 'Whoa'," says lineback ... More >>

Whom Do You Blame for the Cowboys' Catastrophe?

​We now return to your regularly scheduled football season where ... Oh, dear. If you saw this coming - the Dallas Cowboys at 1-6 - raise your hand. I'm impressed. I'll also, of course, need proof. Some of us thought the Cowboys would play in Super Bowl XLV. Most of us thought they'd win the ... More >>

Jaguars 35, Cowboys 17: My Top 10 Observer-ations

​10. All you Tony Romo haters, how'd that feel? You wanted life without the so-called "celebrity golfer," you got it. By the way Jon Kitna, perfectly thrown passes tipped into interceptions suck huh? 9. David Garrard is a very mediocre quarterback. The Cowboys made him look like Johnny Unita ... More >>

Vikings 24, Cowboys 21: My Top 10 Observations

​10. Bad as this looks - and 1-4 is bad - the season isn't over. I know history says they have a 95 percent chance of missing the playoffs, but no one in the NFC is worth a damn. A 10-win season and, yes, a division championship is still possible. And much as he might deserve it, he ... More >>

Better Football? Dallas Cowboys vs. Dallas Desire

​Woe are the Dallas Cowboys. I still don't think their season is kaput, but it doesn't look good: *At 1-3, they're firmly in the NFC East cellar. *Sunday they play at the Minnesota Vikings, an equally desperate 1-3 team. *You'd think the Cowboys would have the motivation factor, what with B ... More >>

Prediction: Dallas Cowboys Will End The NFL Season In Their Own Backyard (With A Little Luck And A Lot Of Health).

Dallas Cowboys 53-Man Roster Projection: 8.23.10

​The Cowboys are 2-1 in the preseason. They've suffered numerous injuries but only one serious (tight end John Phillips). The defense has been at times dominating. The offense has been sporadic at best. Kickers Mat McBriar and David Buehler look reliable. Add it all up and - with meanin ... More >>

Whitt's End: 8.6.10

​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *Since you guys salivate over local radio news, here's a zesty taste: Starting August 16 the new program director at 105.3 The Fan will be Bruce Gilbert. Yep, the same Bruce Gilbert who helped buil ... More >>

Camp Cowboy: Early Observations From Afar

​I'll be down in San Antonio for Dallas Cowboys' training camp next week. For now, I'm making calls. Talking to spies. Trying to get the skinny by chewing the fat. Some thoughts: New offensive tackle Alex Barron is better than expected. And Doug Free has struggled with his quickness at l ... More >>

Whitt's End: 4.2.10

​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *Major Near catastrophic computer meltdown this morning at 8:19 a.m. Outta nowhere, the dreaded blue screen. Bottom line: Whitt's Dead End. $%^&*$#!! Expect, fingers crossed, re-constructi ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys Release Flozell Adams and Ken Hamlin

​Is this indeed a Good Friday, Cowboys' fans? It's the end of "False Start. Offense. No. 76" as the Cowboys today released starting offensive left tackle Flozell Adams and starting free safety Ken Hamlin. Your starters, for now, are Doug Free at LT and Alan Ball at FS. Adams was a good p ... More >>

And the Dallas Cowboys' Most Over-Achieving Player of 2009 is ...

​Would you believe the guy who lost the cornerback battle to Pro Bowler Mike Jenkins? That's right, Orlando Scandrick. According to the NFL's performance-based bonus system, Scandrick was the Cowboys' biggest bang-for-buck player last season. As a 5th-round draft pick who started one gam ... More >>

Shape of Things Gives DTC its First Neil Labute; Watertower's Loop Fest Offers Eclectic Lineup of Shows

So Good to Be Out of the Loop

Whitt's End: 10.16.09

​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *According to my very unscientific research conducted on this very blog over the last two years, the most sensitive, whiny, irrational folks on Earth are: 1. Ticket P1s; 2. Right-wing Republicans; ... More >>

The Ugliest Cowboys' Win in the History of Ever?

​Last year's 13-9 win over Tampa Bay was ugly. I seemed to remember a 10-6 yawner over Buffalo in 2003. And, of course, there was the 9-7 classic over the Redskins on Monday Night Football in 2001 when both teams entered 0-4. I'm sure there are others, but yesterday's Cowboys 26, C ... More >>

Camp Cowboys Top 10 Observations: Day 6

Scouting assistant Rich Behm and his view of training camp.​10. Sounds to me like Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is leaning against rebuilding the indoor practice facility that collapsed May 2, leaving special teams coach Joe DeCamillis with a broken back, scouting assistant Rich Behm par ... More >>

The Dallas Cowboys' Final 53-Man Roster Will Look Like ...

Let's not get greedy. For now we'd settle for a win in December.​This? Just hours before the first practice of training camp here at The Alamodome, I decided to doodle up what the Cowboys' final roster will look like come the Sept. 13th opener at Tampa Bay. It starts here. And ends up below ... More >>

After the Draft: Projecting the Cowboys' 53-Man Roster

Ugh.There's a minicamp at Valley Ranch this weekend, only three months before training camp in San Antonio and a mere 139 days until the Dallas Cowboys kick off their 2009 NFL season against the Buccaneers in Tampa. No better time to look into my crystal football and predict the team's o ... More >>

As the Cowboys' Dust Settles ...

Team christening this joint is suddenly going to look a whole lot different. Better?We can cross our fingers real hard and go for the trifecta, but I don't see Cowboys owner Jerry Jones firing Wade Phillips today. Let's don't get greedy. But let's also be realistic. Gone from the roster that ... More >>

The Cowboys' Goals at Mid-season Are a Little Less Super

Plowboys 13, Yuckaneers 9

349 Movies to Go

Preparing for the onslaught that is the Toronto Film Festival

349 Movies to Go

Preparing for the onslaught that is the Toronto Film Festival

Paradise Found

Terry Moore's characters aren't super heroes, but they'll hang out with some this weekend

The eyes have it

Veteran cinematographer Conrad Hall will choose 'right' over 'special' any day

The terrifying Beauty

Kevin Spacey is riveting in the year's most harrowing, horrific feel-good story