Subject: Alex Rodriguez

• Batters' Uppers

  March 19, 2009

• Everybody's Getting Birthday Presents Today!

  March 1, 2007

• Go Yanks!

  September 20, 2006

• A-Rod = A-Fraud

  May 30, 2007

• A Famous Pro Athlete in a Local Topless Bar? Say It Ain't So!

  May 31, 2007

• A-Rod Hits a Home Run

  May 31, 2007

• Cuban Dancing

  September 24, 2007

• Mark Cuban and Jerry Jones Are Powerful. Tom Hicks, Not S'Much.

  September 28, 2007

• A-Rod? A-gain?

  October 29, 2007

• "Forget About Eli Manning When You and Jessica Are Tanning."

  January 15, 2008

• Hump Day for the Rangers? Almost.

  May 28, 2008

• God Bless America. And Sports.

  July 3, 2008

• He Knows the Score

  Herbert Perry plays only until the next big-contract kid comes along

  September 19, 2002

• The Hottest Male Athletes According to Females

  Second in a very sporadic, yet nonetheless fascinating series by Dallas Observer staff writers Merritt Martin/Megan Feldman. Ladies, as always, mi casa es su casa ... You've been waiting haven't you? We knew you wanted it, but c'mon, we had to make you yearn. It was a tease, all in good fun ... and then Megan had to go out of town (Something about reporting? Something about an actual printed newspaper? I dunno). We didn't really mean to leave you with a case of blue balls blogs. Anyway. First, w

  February 2, 2009

• Alex Rodriguez Wasn't Even "Tempted" to Juice. Except, This One Time, at Band Camp ...

  In light of yesterday's revelations that Alex Rodriguez was juicing during his MVP tenure with Your Texas Rangers, a Friend of Unfair Park remind us of A-Roid's appearance on 60 Minutes at the end of '07, when he repeatedly told Katie Couric he'd never enhanced. Below, one video highlight among many from that chitchat. And that action figure you see here's going for $27.99 -- a steal when you consider it also comes with the Sports Illustrated announcing his move from Arlington to New York City,

  February 8, 2009

• *A-Roid

    In light of this weekend's (shocking?) revelation that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids during his 2003 MVP season with your Texas Rangers, I hereby invite a public stoning. And, yes thanks, I'll be happy to chunk the first rocks: *A-Fraud is one of the most disingenuous athletes of our generation. Off the field he purports to be a milk-n-cookies Boy Scout - "I'm not a nightclub guy ..." - when, in fact, he's a friggin' swinger. *He's a phony who breaks baseball's co

  February 9, 2009

• Your Texas Rangers: The Steroid Sluggers

  Wow.Part of the shrapnel from the *A-Roid bombshell: Not that it manifested itself in any sort of team success, but there's no denying that the Texas Rangers now have more big-name stars linked to performancing-enhancing drugs than any professional team this side of a European cycling club. Ruben Sierra. Jose Canseco. Ivan Rodriguez. Juan Gonzalez. Rafael Palmeiro. Alex Rodriguez. Huge individual numbers. Miniscule team results. Chalk one up for "cheaters never win ..." For all their

  February 10, 2009

• Alex Rodriguez Would Like to Apologize to All Texas Rangers Fans. Awesome!

  So says A-Roid -- that'll never get old, unlike this song called "A-Roid"  -- in an interview with Peter Gammons just posted on ESPN.com. But why, Alex, why?"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day. Back then, [baseball] was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. I wanted to prove to everyone I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time. I did tak

  February 9, 2009

• Rodriguez 'n Romo: Two Guys Who Don't Get It

  After attending the Mavs' shootaround this morning and before heading back to American Airlines Center tonight for the showdown contest victory over the Sacramento Kings, I watched and re-watched this week's interviews with two of America's biggest sporting dufuses. Sorry, but Tony Romo and Alex Rodriguez just don't get it. I realize A-Rod broke the rules while Romo only breaks our hearts, but still ... They don't get that we're not flat out retarded. They don't get that we were sports fans

  February 10, 2009

• Shropshire Still Reliving Seasons in Hell With Your Texas Rangers. Now, With Extra 'Roids!

  My favorite sports book of all time is Mike Shropshire's Seasons in Hell: With Billy Martin, Whitey Herzog and The Worst Baseball Team in History -- The 1973-1975 Texas Rangers. We excerpted the book in 1996, and Michael Hogue's original artwork accompanying the piece still hangs in my office -- that's it at right. (Michael gave me a sweet deal.) Anyway, long story short, a Friend of Unfair Park sends word that the former Fort Worth Star-Telegram-er is still writing about the Strangers -- this t

  February 18, 2009

• Whitt's End: 2.20.09

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *At the risk of ruffling more Ticket feathers, the station treated one of its first-time, long-timers like shit rudely during its recent gaggle of 15th anniversary celebrations. The way I remember it, Mark Elfenbein was one of the station's original voices. Pretty sure he's been doing weekends for the full 15 years. He's even hosting their Mavs post-game show this season. Considering that loyalty

  February 20, 2009

• Oscar Overhaul: Ahem, Where Was Sports?

  I generally agree with Jerry Seinfeld. On everything. Including the Oscars. During a show at, of all places, UTA's Texas Hall in '02 the comedian quipped, "Worst thing about The Oscars is that they never tell you the final scores. We're Americans. We not only want to know who won, but by how much. Was it a blowout? Overtime? Tell us! All we really get is a bunch of people all dressed alike patting each other on the back going, 'Good job of pretending to be someone else'." That sai

  February 23, 2009

• Best Dumbass Rich Sports-team Owner

  September 20, 2001

• Best Way for A-Rod to Earn His Keep

  September 20, 2001

• Best Sign for the Rangers' Future

  September 25, 2003

• Best Unintentionally Funny Sports Moment

  September 25, 2003

• Bolton No More in ’04

  January 15, 2004

• Two Iconic Baseball Voices Announce a Texas Dream Team for the Ages

  March 27, 2008

• Cheaters Never Win?

  Don't whisper a word to the children, but hell yeah, of course they do

  June 7, 2007

• Wild Pitch

  MLB 2K6 throws more chin music than strikes.

  April 27, 2006

• Curveball

  Kenny Rogers and his favorite cameraman reach a settlement--and common ground

  March 2, 2006

• Hart Attack

  Everybody loves a winner? Tell it to Rangers GM John Hart.

  March 17, 2005

• Just Forget It

  Move on folks, there was nothing to see in an ugly 2004

  January 6, 2005

• Monkey Business

  Buzz picks a few nits with the year that was

  December 30, 2004

• Best Youth Injection

  Texas Rangers

  October 14, 2004

• Best Ranger

  Buck Showalter

  October 14, 2004

• Now Boarding

  Hop on the bandwagon

  May 20, 2004

• Rained Out

  No refunds, Rangers fans, even though the dark clouds of the A-Rod trade threaten the entire season

  March 18, 2004

• Young's Town

  Texas' popular new shortstop is the man of the moment

  March 11, 2004

• Sweet Tees

  Plus: Tight Wad; Hit Me With Your Best Shot

  January 29, 2004

• 'Boys Gone Wild

  And other tall tales of 2003

  January 1, 2004

• Thanks for Nothing

  The return of Gonzilla, and other literary concerns

  November 27, 2003

• Dog Days

  Summer is here, which means the Rangers must be in last place

  June 19, 2003

• The Buck Starts Here

  New Texas Rangers manager Buck Showalter makes the team much better. Problem is, he can’t hit leadoff, play center field or pitch.

  March 6, 2003

• The A-Team

  Love it when a plan comes together? Not so fast. Sure, they've got A-Rod and I-Rod, but what about Rusty Greer hitting leadoff, Tim Crabtree closing, and Johnny Oates acting human? John Gonzalez goes to Texas Rangers spring training to look for answers.

  March 15, 2001

• The Home Stretch

  From A-Rod to Z-routes, the year that was in Big D sports

  December 28, 2000

• One Last Time, With Feeling: A-Fraud

  Before we hop onto the bandwagon of your first-place Texas Rangers, let me chunk one more rock at Alex Rodriguez. And myself. Back in 2004 - in the couple months between leaving the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and joining the Dallas Observer - I got word that A-Rod twice frequented the Dallas swingers' club, Iniquity. At the time of his clandestine visits, then-wife Cynthia was pregnant, home, clueless. For a guy who boasted a milk-n-cookies image, he was apparently all about MILFs-n

  May 14, 2009

• The Top 10 All-Time Texas Rangers in the History of Ever

  Very cool moment last night: The greatest player in Texas Rangers history - now a Houston Astro - smacks a 5th-inning homer and receives a standing ovation. Stay classy, Arlington. On a day when Toby Harrah and Ruben Sierra were elected into the Rangers' Hall of Fame, Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez reminded us that he is the best player to ever wear a Texas uniform. Right? During his short stint as the franchise's best thrower - I said thrower, not pitcher - Nolan Ryan may have been a smidge m

  June 17, 2009

• Rangers 10, Yankees 9. Frank(ie)ly, That Was Too Close For Comfort.

  ​Random thoughts after a roller-coaster, thrilling, frustrating, sweat-stained best game of the Rangers' season: *From 0-4 to 2-4 to 7-4 to 7-5 to 10-5 to 10-9, seriously, what a damn entertaining baseball game. *Elvis Andrus turns 21 today. His baseball IQ turns 219. *I watched the game at a bar, so maybe it was just me. But that game wasn't in HD wasn't it? *Something's not right with Kevin Millwood. Of course without him allowing a 4-spot in the 1st the Rangers wouldn't have been

  August 26, 2009

• October = Baseball Bummer

  ​Seems like the Texas Rangers season ended months ago doesn't it? Don't look now, but the cool kids are still playing baseball. The League Championship Series start this week with Angels-Yankees and Dodgers-Phillies. According to national TV ratings, you're not looking at all - as Dallas/Fort Worth ranked 54th out of the top 56 metered markets during the first round of the playoffs. While Tom Hicks considers three serious buyers for his team and continues slashing budget by getting rid of

  October 14, 2009