Subject: San Francisco 49ers

• Your Cowboys are Giants

  December 6, 2006

• You Can Spell Team Without T.O.

  March 14, 2006

• The Cowboys' Money in the Tank

  September 19, 2007

• Looking Ahead, 'Cause It’s Too Damn Sickening To Look Back.

  January 15, 2008

• That ’70s Show

  September 2, 2008

• NFL Preview: The Quarterbacks

  September 3, 2008

• Hard Knocks: Week 5

  September 4, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 3

  September 16, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 4

  September 23, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 6

  October 7, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 9

  October 28, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 10

  November 4, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 11

  November 11, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 12

  Not Tony Romo’s best day. But better than Brad Johnson. By a mile. Okay, I’ve got a long-distance, work-related field trip today so let’s get to it. Just for fun, let’s reveal ‘em in reverse order. Extrapolates the drama and all. Where you guys think Graham Harrell and Sam Bradford would fall on this list? 32. JaMarcus Russell – Raiders 31. Marc Bulger – Rams 30. Matt Hassellbeck -- Seahawks 29. Tyler Thigpen – Chiefs 28. Sage Rosenfels – Texans 27.

  November 18, 2008

• The 10 Worst Sports Mascots of All-Time

  It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. In that order. There is a God. One who, of course, loves sports. And one who, when peering through the hole in the roof, hates what the Dallas Cowboys' ridiculous mascot does to his favorite team. In other words, Rowdy has been banned. According to this USA Today story – with props to Tim McMahon of Dallas’ Only Daily – Rowdy’s role will continue to be diminished when the Cowboys host the 49ers Sunday at Texas Stadium. Seems

  November 20, 2008

• You Betcha: Week 13

  Something I never envisioned typing along my life’s journey: Thank you, Martellus Bennett. But because of the backup tight end’s athletic, dramatic touchdown grab in Washington last week I’m still in bidness. Barely. Down a cool $7,500 this season, but in better shape than the poor schmucks who got hosed on Steelers-Chargers last week. You familiar? In short, on the game’s final play the Chargers attempted to lateral their way out of an 11-10 deficit, but instead Pittsbu

  November 21, 2008

• Cowboys 35, 49ers 22

  The good news: Terrell Owens put up. The bad news: Now he'll never shut up. With the smoke not yet cleared from his obnoxious -- but not even a little bit surprising -- interview with instigator Deion Sanders on NFL Network, T.O. produced his best day in a Cowboys' uniform. Finally getting open and actually making catches, Owens amassed 213 yards including a 75-yard touchdown that woke up a sleepy start against the tremendously sucky San Francisco 49ers. As expected, the Cowboys whipped an infe

  November 23, 2008

• Terrell Owens Not Good Enough to Duplicate Feat. No Way. No How.

     My son hates green beans.   Faced with a plate of them, he'll eat a couple, suck on a couple more, tear two or three apart and, ultimately, smash/push his veggies into a pile and pronounce: "Done!"   Unless, of course, I consult the Parenting 101 guide and resort to reverse psychology. (Insert evil grin, rubbing evil hands together.) This is how I get him to eat his green beans:   "I knew you couldn't do it. Only strong boys with big muscles can finish

  November 26, 2008

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 16

  Tony Romo, all is forgiven. At least for a week. After one of the most Gawd-awful performances of his career - or, let's face it, any career - in Pittsburgh, the Cowboys' quarterback went out Sunday night and padded his legacy with a game straight from Hollywood. Aching back and nagging teammates be damned, Romo willed Dallas to a crucial victory over the Giants by throwing two touchdowns, committing zero turnovers and withstanding four brutal sacks. Two more games like that and

  December 16, 2008

• The Top 10 Most Memorable Moments in the History of Grand Ol' Texas Stadium

    Fittingly, the stadium with the hole in the roof - so God could watch his favorite football team, duh - was christened by a 10-day Billy Graham crusade. A month later - Oct. 24, 1971 - Texas Stadium opened for Cowboys' business. Come Saturday night, the ol' joint at Loop 12 and Highway 114 in the armpit of Irving will embrace its last traffic jam. And perhaps provide one final indelible memory. After Cowboys-Ravens, the Cowboys will trot out 100 former players and coaches

  December 17, 2008

• Final NFL Quarterback Rankings

  According to the Pro Bowl, Peyton Manning and Kurt Warner are the two best NFL quarterbacks of 2008. According to me, nonsense. Warner has the best receivers in the league and throws in the worst division in football. Manning was steady, but hardly spectacular. My rankings, which take into account quarterback rating, team record, TD-to-Int differential and which way the wind's blowing, culminate today. And my winner - surprise - ain't even headed to Hawaii. 32. Dan Orlovsky - Lions 31

  December 23, 2008

• Clear skies ahead

  January 12, 1995

• Barry blew it

  January 19, 1995

• Events for the week

  August 15, 1996

• Letters

  October 23, 1997

• Black out

  February 26, 1998

• Fog is lifting

  February 26, 1998

• Ad it up

  February 11, 1999

• Whitt's End: 4.3.09

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *Seems Highland Park-ex and potential No. 1 overall NFL Draft pick Matthew Stafford isn't comfortable talking with teams - specifically a psychologist for the San Francisco 49ers - about his parents' divorce. It's wrong for 49ers coach Mike Singletary to go public with the tale, telling a radio station "if you're going to look at drafting a guy in the first round, and you're going to pay him mi

  April 3, 2009

• Invinci-Bill

  Exactly why is Parcells Dallas' dictator?

  September 29, 2005

• Flying Low

  December 21, 2006

• Bye-Bye Baboon

  At last dispatching their 800-pound gorilla, Mavs will soon be NBA's big banana

  May 25, 2006

• Eyes Wide Shut

  Blinded by desperation, Cowboys refuse to see T.O. as B.S.

  March 23, 2006

• Tex-cess

  Everything's bigger in our state, especially the fan fakery

  January 19, 2006

• Ornamental

  Yule have a ball

  December 11, 2003

• Head Aik

  Hey, the mob's right: Troy is woozy and washed up--let's bring back Steve Pelluer!

  September 28, 2000

• Hash Over

  April 23, 1998

• One angry man

  After a long history of public drunkenness and allegations of slashing two men's throats, it is time to examine the troubled practice of Dr. John Hargett

  September 25, 1997

• Events for the week

  September 11, 1997

• Redundancy factor

  'Boys are cranky-- and that's good

  January 5, 1995

• Drinking and Driving a Punt Into a Scoreboard

  Patrick Michels​Deadspin most thoughtfully directs our attention to the Andy Lee Drinking Game -- Andy Lee being the San Francisco 49ers punter who gets his turn to take aim at the Cowboys Stadium video board tomorrow evening. If nothing else, it provides one very good reason to watch a meaningless pre-season game, and the NFL's new do-over policy for Jerry's big ol' teevee has added some last-minute addenda to the pop-a-shot rulebook. So, in advance of an all-right Saturday night, a few of th

  August 28, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 1

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  September 15, 2009

• Whitt's End: 10.2.09

  ​Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *Former Carter High School star Michael Crabtree may not be a bad guy, but he's following some horrible advice. Friend of a friend of Crabtree tells me that he and the 49ers remain $10 million apart in contract negotiations and that the former Red Raiders receiver is indeed prepared to sit out the season. He's living in Florida, by the way, working out daily with a personal trainer and cat

  October 2, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 5

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  October 7, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 6

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  October 14, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 7

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  October 20, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 8

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  October 27, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 9

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  November 3, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Rankings: Week 9

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  November 10, 2009

• NFL Quarterback Ratings: Week 10

  ​Like the BCS, style points count. So do geeky, black-and-white stats such as touchdowns and quarterback rating. Wins and losses? Definitely. Leadership? Uh-huh. When it comes to my weekly NFL Quarterback Rankings - if I had one of those little encircled R's to signify a trademarked idea, it'd go here - the criteria is everything, nothing and all that's in between. Past performance and future potential is considered, but mostly - like college football's weekly Top 25 - it's

  November 17, 2009