Subject: Sean Avery

• Sean Avery Will Kick Your Ass

  July 2, 2008

• Sean Avery Likes to Be Both "Manly As Possible" and "A Little Bit Feminine"

  July 7, 2008

• Dude, Sean, That Jersey Totally Clashes With Those Pants, Man

  August 7, 2008

• Sean Avery Just Got The Gap a Free Ad on Unfair Park, Genius

  August 13, 2008

• Sean Avery Likes Project Runway, Maybe A Little Too Much

  August 14, 2008

• Dallas Stars Downsize, Upgrade?

  On second thought, two heads aren't better than one.Since two girlfriends = one problem, the Dallas Stars have abruptly ended their dual general managers experiement. Out: Brett Hull/Les Jackson. In: Joe Nieuwendyk. Strange as it is to be talking hockey in June - unless, of course, you live in Detroit - the fact that owner Tom Hicks tried a two-headed GM in the first place was bizarre. Then, after the team advanced to the Western Conference Finals in 2008, he confirmed the crazi

  June 1, 2009

• Sean Avery, You Had Us At "Dunno"

  September 11, 2008

• Sean Avery Will Tolerate Your Style Questions, But Only to a Point

  October 1, 2008

• Three Dots and a Cloud of Dust …

  October 10, 2008

• Fallling Stars

  November 7, 2008

• Sean Avery is Not, in Fact, a Faggot

  He leads the Stars in penalty minutes. Not a single one of them for being "different." Sean Avery is refreshing. Eclectic. Tough. Successful. Courageous. And not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Or is there? In my column in this week’s dead tree version of Sportatorium, I examine how it is that the Dallas Stars’ tough guy balances being one of the NHL’s most macho goons with a fashion fetish that has him interning at Vogue and -- gasp! -- befriending homo

  November 13, 2008

• Sean Avery Really Should Keep His Mouth Shut About "Sloppy Seconds"

  Sean Avery, for a long while we thought your boorishwacky antics were adorable! Alas, turns out that the National Hockey League isn't so enamored -- because, moments ago, the league indefinitely suspended the Dallas Star for referring to a former flame, Old School co-star Elisha Cuthbert, as his "sloppy seconds." Those words of wisdom were uttered this morning during an interview with TSN, during which he used that particular phrase to refer to Calgary defenseman Dion Phaneuf and his latest

  December 2, 2008

• Star on Ice, or: Trying to Put Sean Avery's Suspension in Context

  Below, as you can see, we've added the video containing the, um, sloppy remarks for which Dallas Star Sean Avery received his indefinite suspension last night from National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman. Meanwhile, back in New York, Newsday's Arthur Staples is among those calling out the commish and Stars owner Tom Hicks -- just "another hypocritical, clueless owner" who, moments after Bettman went ballistic, joined in the chorus of boo-hoos. So too have Avery's teammates, who've clear

  December 3, 2008

• Sean Avery Apologizes!

  This just in from Sean Avery, via his L.A.-based publicist, concerning the comments that got him indefinitely banned, at least till his meeting with National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman tomorrow:"I would like to sincerely apologize for my off-color remarks to the press yesterday from Calgary. I should not have made those comments and I recognize that they were inappropriate. It was a bad attempt to build excitement for the game, but I am now acutely aware of how hurtful my actio

  December 3, 2008

• Girl Drink Drunk: Special Report: American Airlines Center

  OK, I know what you're thinking: "American Airlines Center? WTF?" See, I had my drinking buds prepped and the location staked. I was ready. Then BF Jake and I realized that thanks to my inspired disguise as Alex Trebek at the annual office Halloween contest, we had tickets to see the Dallas Stars not only wipe the ice with Edmonton Oilers, but leave them Sean Avery's sloppy seconds as consolation.Being a bit of a hockey fan I should have been more excited. Was just so bummed that my girl drink e

  December 3, 2008

• The Top 10 Sports Zingers I Can Think of Off the Top of My Head

  Not saying Sean Avery isn't an asshole. Or a horrible teammate. Or, for that matter, a room-wrecker the Dallas Stars should consider dumping.I'm just saying he shouldn't have been suspended - or worse, pending this afternoon's meeting with NHL poobah Gary Bettman in New York - merely for his "sloppy seconds" zinger.It was a classic barb. Years from now Stars' fans - shoot, all sports fans - will associate sloppy seconds with him. As in, "Dude, don't go home with her. Unless you want to be Phaneu

  December 4, 2008

• Whitt's End

  Welcome to my dark, dank, little out-of-the-way catch-all corner.In here every Friday  afternoon you'll find those cumbersome little pieces parts, fleeting thoughts and mind crumbs I couldn't crowbar into other posts. It's where I'll come to clear my head, and to clean out my notebooks.Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:*So I'm in Shreveport last weekend - winning $100 I might add - and there's this guy. Swear, not making this up.

  December 5, 2008

• Sean Avery Gets 6 Games for Sloppy Seconds

  This just in: The wimpy, senstive, ridiculous, irrelevant National Hockey League has suspended Dallas Stars' winger Sean Avery six games for telling the truth. Do you think the punishment fits the crime? Do you give a damn? - Richie Whitt

  December 5, 2008

• Gary Bettman on Sean Avery: "Not Entirely Surprised It Got to This Point.'

  By now, you're no doubt aware that Sean Avery -- the Dallas Stars' filthy fourths, following his stints with Detroit, Los Angeles and New York -- got popped for a six-game suspension with some anger-management classes thrown in to boot. Says National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman in an NHL.com sitdown: "I'm not entirely surprised it got to this point."At last, the great Daryl "Razor" Reaugh has weighed in on Avery -- and the what-mighta-been had Dallas gone in a different direction (wh

  December 5, 2008

• Whitt's End

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *I got $1 for the first person who can show me - like Tony Romo did last week - any time that Terrell Owens has ever uttered the phrase: "This one's on me." Owens has every right to be jealous of Romo and Jason Witten because they're both something he's not: Humble. And likeable. *Since 2006 no NFL combo has produced more touchdowns than Owens-from-Romo. They have 33, well ahead of Plaxico Burres-f

  December 12, 2008

• Adios, Sean Avery. But, You, Josh Hamilton, You're Welcome Any Time.

  So, Sean Avery isn't returning to the Dallas Stars -- surprise, surprise, surprise. Says the organization in its official release this morning regarding the release: Avery's return, following his sloppy seconds suspension, just wouldn't be in anyone's "best interest," but "treatment and counseling" are in Avery's, so that's that. And it was left to the man who hired him to fire him. What say you, co-general manager Brett Hull? "Sean needs to focus on his own well-being while the Stars hockey tea

  December 14, 2008

• Sean Avery Out; Terrell Owens In. Two Assholes; Two Approaches

  Sean Avery puts himself before his team, alienates his locker room and winds up disparaging players on other teams. Terrell Owens puts himself before his team, alienates his locker room and winds up disparaging players on his own team. So, you tell me, does it make sense that T.O. is suiting up for the Dallas Cowboys tonight but Avery will apparently never again play for the Dallas Stars? - Richie Whitt

  December 14, 2008

• A Christmas List for Jon Daniels

  Here in The Sportatorium, every now and then we like to talk baseball. I mean hard-core, balls-and-strikes baseball. By "every now and then" I mean this morning. And by "we", of course, I mean seamhead colleague Sam Merten. Sam, the floor is yours: For those of you distracted by Sean Avery's antics, the format change at Live 105.3 FM and the drama at Valley Ranch, Rangers' GM Jon Daniels and his colleagues spent most of last week in Las Vegas for baseball's Winter Meetings. Daniels has be

  December 18, 2008

• 2008 in Memoriam: Your Top 10 Most Popular Sports Items of the Year

  In keeping with our "Best of ... " programming this week, I'll provide the most memorable Metroplex sports moments of 2008 on Wednesday. Until then, a look back at what you guys clicked on/commented on the most in the past year. The Sportatorium's version of The People's Choice Awards, if you will. 10. People No Longer Like The Ticket. 9. Sean Avery Got Suspended for What?! 8. Where's Greggo? On ESPN Radio. 7. Don't Mess With Texas. 6. Live 105.3 Fires Russ Martin, Switches to Sports.

  December 30, 2008

• The Master Cleanser: Day 1

  Status: Green Weight: 171.1 Mood: Optimistic Committed Apprehensive So, this is it? 2009 rings in and we're left to deal with no Cowboys, medicore Mavericks and a hockey team void of Brenden Morrow, Sean Avery and post-season potential? Bor-ring. I know, let's spice things up a bit. With a pinch of Cayenne pepper. And some lemons. And maple syrup. And, oh yeah, no food for 10 days. What's that you say? It's the Master Cleanse, of course.

  January 5, 2009

• What's In My Closet? Horrible Ideas Edition

  Was just over on Unfair Park reading Schutze's take on the latest missle fired into the hull of the Trinity River Toll Road Waste Of Time Project. From the city that gave us the CueCat, plastic dividers on HOV lanes and P.C. Cobb Stadium downgraded into an InfoMart, this might be our dumbest idea ever. After 11 years, now we're saddled with another 20-month, $29 million delay. Brilliant! Got me to thinking. And scrounging. What are some of the other worst ideas in Dallas history? Parti

  June 2, 2009

• Whitt's End: 2.6.09

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *So Jerry Jones wanted Dan Reeves to pledge working X amount of hours per week. Maybe it's part of the owner's new get-tough policy, but isn't that ridiculous? I seem to remember a head coach around here trying to force players to punch a time clock. Goes by the name of Dave Campo. *He totally sneaked in and out under the radar, but Yankees' pitcher Andy Pettite was in town last week speaking at T

  February 6, 2009

• New Sportatorium Feature: The Totally Unsubstantiated Rumor Mill

  Okay gang, I'm swamped up to here this week working on a Dallas Observer cover story for later this month. So I don't have the luxury of pouring economically dripping my usual time and/or effort into tracking down whispers. That said, I'd also never prevent a good rumor from potentially blossoming on this here blog. So here goes: *Plano's favorite MILF and Cougar cave - Martini Park - is under new ownership and will soon re-open as - ta-da! - Martini Lounge. I know, creative, huh? I he

  February 18, 2009

• Oscar Overhaul: Ahem, Where Was Sports?

  I generally agree with Jerry Seinfeld. On everything. Including the Oscars. During a show at, of all places, UTA's Texas Hall in '02 the comedian quipped, "Worst thing about The Oscars is that they never tell you the final scores. We're Americans. We not only want to know who won, but by how much. Was it a blowout? Overtime? Tell us! All we really get is a bunch of people all dressed alike patting each other on the back going, 'Good job of pretending to be someone else'." That sai

  February 23, 2009

• Whitt's End: 3.6.09

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *If you're breathlessly waiting to hear Mickey Spagnola's take on the Cowboys cutting Terrell Owens, you'll have to go here. Because, alas, The Ticket's beloved "Ranch Report" is no more. Remember, Mickey was/is an employee of the Cowboys, not The Ticket. Maybe his daily updates will be reincarnated when the Cowboys and 105.3 The Fan announce their impending partnership. (Sometime in Mar

  March 6, 2009

• The Stars' Problem: Mike Nodano?

  1999 seems a millennium ago doesn't it?When we last left the Dallas Stars they were a mediocre, irrelevant team besieged by injuries, struggling to stay around .500 and in the Western Conference playoff hunt while blaming Sean Avery. This morning - after last night's 3-1 loss to the Montreal Canadiens - the Dallas Stars are a mediocre, irrelevant team besieged by injuries, struggling to stay around .500 and in the Western Conference playoff hunt while blaming Mike Modan

  March 9, 2009

• The Dallas Stars: Rest In Pieces

  Seriously, this season ended right here.Give the Dallas Stars credit for being spunky and resilient and stubbornly fun to watch. But the season's over, right? To me it ended Saturday in San Jose. Not just with the 5-2 loss to the Sharks, but more so with another major injury. This one to Brad Richards, who broke his left hand while hurrying back from a broken right wrist. If you heard coach Dave Tippett afterward, he sounded like a defeated man. In 12th place - though only three points ou

  March 23, 2009

• Hockey Mouths

  December 25, 2008

• Cancer Won't Keep a Runner from the White Rock Marathon

  December 11, 2008

• Sean Avery, In Vogue

  The enforcer brings his unique blend of ferocity and fashion to the Dallas Stars

  November 13, 2008

• Whitt's End: 4.17.09

  Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End: *If I were I am a betting man, and I am plunking down $1 that 105.3 The Fan and the Dallas Cowboys officially announce their flagship radio station partnership next week. Trust me when I say the deal is done. It's just the dotting of i's, crossing of t's and massaging of Texas Motor Speedway's hurt feelings that's taking time. Formal press conference or not, The Fan will host the Cowboys' off

  April 17, 2009

• The Top 10 Bodyguards in Case of Zombie Apocalypse

  Would the Bird Man make a good Wing Man?So you're having a beer at your favorite watering hole. Next thing you know, zombies. Through the door. Crashing in the windows. Falling from the ceiling. Purgatory-confined, blood-thirsty zombies. Everywhere. This hasn't happened to me in a while, but when it does I want an athlete to be my bodyguard. A big, scary, tattooed, pierced, fearless dude that has a chance to fight off the zombies and keep me from, ya know, being a dead man's dinner.

  May 7, 2009

• Shooting Star

  No doubt the man who once held the Cup now calls the shots.So I'm gone a week and two major coaching deals? Ron Washington: In. Dave Tippett: Out. How can that be? I'll get to Wash later this week, but I'm still trying to figure out new Stars' GM Joe Nieuwendyk's decision to replace the likeable Tippett with the long ago expired Marc Crawford. (He's gone as long as the Cowboys between post-season success.) Like a lot of casual hockey fans, I saw the Stars thusly: Momentum from the great r

  June 16, 2009

• This Just In: Hockey is - Surprisingly - Still Alive

  Nothing says hockey like ... hotties?​Coulda swore the National Hockey League never returned from its 2005 lockout. No, wait, don't I sorta remember a hip little hiccup back in 2008? Honestly, they tell me there will be a Dallas Stars game down at American Airlines Center tonight. Marc Crawford is the new coach. Brenden Morrow is the old captain. Mike Modano is still hanging around. And Sean Avery long ago left. What gets us excited about hockey in September? Two words ...

  September 16, 2009