Subject:

TheOnion.com

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2014

    Maine Now Quarantining People for Setting Foot in Dallas

    If you want any real Ebola news, check out the Friday afternoon update. If you want to see something we barely believe isn't from The Onion, keep reading. In a move that makes Highland Park ISD's response to Ebola seem thoughtful and measured, Maine School Administrative District 58 has placed a te ... More >>

  • Calendar

    September 11, 2014
  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    The Cowboys Collapse Against Green Bay: The Top 15 Tweets

    Dallas Cowboys fans should know better by now. Whatever cheerful confidence is inspired by an impressive quarter or two of play is destined to be crushed, swiftly and without mercy. So, the team's late-game collapse Sunday afternoon to an Aaron Rodgers-less Green Bay Packers squad was less shocking ... More >>

  • Calendar

    May 9, 2013
  • News

    December 13, 2012

    What Books on Mexicans Should I Buy This Christmas?

    A list of the Mexican's favorite books this year.

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2012

    The Onion Breaks Into Food TV With Porkin' Across America

    If you're more of a Diners Drive-ins and Dives basher than a Guy Fieri fan, and Man Versus Food turns your stomach, you might get a kick out of The Onion's latest video series. Porkin' Across America parodies the shows that have developed a cult like following as devoted fans follow their favorite p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 2, 2012

    How I Learned To Love The Dirty Projectors

    When Dirty Projectors' 2009 album Bitte Orca was released, it was treated as the second coming. Of course, there seems to be a new Album of the Decade crowned on a yearly basis. Even though I write about music on a regular basis for multiple outlets, I get annoyed with the publicity or hype that cer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2012

    Polyphonic Spree Covers Neil Young's Classic "Heart of Gold"

    The Polyphonic Spree covers Neil YoungNeil Young is getting older. His songs, however, are timeless, effortless gems, graceful in their scruff and nearly impossible to break down. When an artist covers a Neil Young song, it only makes that artist look better.Such is the case with The Polyphonic Spre ... More >>

  • Music

    January 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    The 10 Worst Fast Food Trends of 2011

    Denny's Mac and Cheese Big Daddy Melt, which was part of their "Lets Get Cheesy" Menu​Last year, Planet Earth sorrowfully asked mankind "Why, dear peoples, why?" after the invention of something sinister and bizarre: KFC's Double Down. Well, congratulations, 2011: You are the mind-fuck of a fast ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 10, 2011

    Last Night: Scattered Trees and The Alternate Routes at Prophet Bar

    Scattered Trees, The Alternate RoutesProphet BarAugust 8, 2011Better than: a band in a mismatched room on a quiet Tuesday.Drew ReynoldsScattered Trees​ The four members of Chicago's Scattered Trees took the stage at the Prophet Bar for a modest audience of perhaps 50 when they started their headli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2011

    The Obscure 45-Year-Old Song by Some Oak Cliff Kids That Sold Yesterday For $3,122

    Via.At the Studio Club on Sherry Lane in Preston Center, The Gentlemen were, from left to right, Tommy Turner on keybs, a kneeling Tim Justice on drums, Mike Kelley on guitars and vox (on "Cry'n Shame"), Bruce Bland on bass and Seab Meador on lead guitars and vocals.​Fans of the Dallas garage-rock ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2011

    The Found Footage Festival Returns to the Texas Theatre, Now With More Self-Hypnosis

    The lastest show includes clips from "Dr. Rocco," who shares his lessons in one VHS tape called "Enjoying Love Making Through Hypnosis"​You'll be reading plenty in the next few days about a certain other film festival coming up in town -- but for all you high-minded cinephiles who just can't wait, ... More >>

  • Music

    September 24, 2009
  • Blogs

    November 4, 2008

    Speaking of Bush and Bye-Byes ...

    This brief from The Onion this morning, which more or less reads like the Newsweek piece referenced below. --Robert Wilonsky WASHINGTON -- In a press conference held this morning on the White House lawn, President Bush formally asked the assembled press corps and members of his own administration if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2008

    Matt Kadane Hits Shuffle For AV Club

    If you were wondering what is on Matt Kadane's iPod, you're in luck, as he's the current Random Ruler for The AV Club. In case you're unfamiliar with The AV Club, The Onion's entertainment section, Random Rules is a feature wherein a musician puts his or her iPod on Shuffle and comments upon whateve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 14, 2008

    Introducing, Ahem, Southwest Airlines' Newest Symbol of Freedom

    Following Herb Kelleher's stand-up act in front of rhe House Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure a few days back, The Onion today serves up a "news" story that's so not funny I initially thought it was a news story: "Southwest Airlines Now Taking Passengers To Destinations By Shuttle Bus. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 30, 2007

    New Conspiracy Theory: JFK Was Not Shot in Dallas

    Hey, that's not us doin' the speculatin'. That's Dr. Horace Musashi, author of the new book Outside the Crosshairs, who says that John Kennedy wasn't shot by Lee Harvey Oswald or anyone else during the president's trip to Dallas on November 22, 1963. Nope. Turns out: After 11 years of painstaking re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 16, 2007

    Mourning Traffic Report

    Were you wondering why it was taking so long to get on Stemmons Freeway this morning? Did you try to find out and discover that The Dallas Morning News' traffic report took 16 minutes to load on their new, improved, streamlined, easy-to-use Web site? (Hey, I really was going to link you, there, but ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 12, 2007

    Dallas, Together We Can Be Grande

    Tom Leppert's got a new spot appearing on yer local affiliates -- and on his Web site too -- and it turns out his vision for Dallas includes...a Starbucks on every corner. That is so The Onion, circa 1998. My vision for Dallas? It’s a Dallas that’s the safest city in America -- a city known for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 16, 2007

    Mark Cuban is My Rabbi

    No? Then you haven't seen this in The Onion. I likes. --Robert Wilonsky

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2007

    Peeling Back the Layers

    So, we've received, like, a dozen e-mails at Unfair Park informing us it's time to "get over" the Dallas Cowboys' loss to the Seattle Seahawks Saturday night. They wonder why we can't just move on and write about how the Dallas Mavericks are the most awesomest team since the Chicago Bulls went 82-0 ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 12, 2006

    So Not the Real Terrell Owens

    Yeah, so maybe that's the fake Owen Wilson below; I'm too high right now to care, anyway. But this is most definitely the fake Terrell Owens. Still, you can kinda imagine T.O. saying what "he" "tells" The Onion in the piece headlined "Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2006

    Say, That's Odd

    The morning-after round-up won't be as much fun should the Dallas Mavericks drop a game or four to the Miami Heat; who wants to search thousands of articles detailing your home team's butt-whooping, when it's bad enough to read just one? Thankfully, this morning's newsstand is filled with good news- ... More >>

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