Willy Wonka

You Think Darrell Jordan's Having a CD Release Party at Good Records?

First, the Good News: Jandek's Coming to Town. And Wayne Coyne Shops IKEA!

Wood on Woods (Or: Silver Balls)

1998 Dallas Observer Music Awards Nominees

Fat 'n juicy

Walt Disney takes a bittersweet bite of Roald Dahl in James and the Giant Peach

Events for the week

Walt Disney takes a bittersweet bite of Roald Dahl in James and the Giant Peach

Jurassic barf

Barney's Great Adventure is enough to make you ask: Where's a killer meteor when you need one?

Listen up

1998 was not a very good year, but it's still worth the bother

Tom Waits for no one

Or: Looking for the heart of South by Southwest

Going Down

Brendan Fraser falls into a deep, deep hole at the Center of the Earth

Chocoholic

See Dahl's classic in Fort Worth

Sweet Mulch

See Dahl's classic in Fort Worth

Get Down With Dave

Chappelle returns with a raucous Block Party

The Candyman Can

Chappelle returns with a raucous Block Party

Classic Fun

The Innocents earns a Lone Star

Wonka Mania

Slappy's tackles the candyman

Mustache Ride

In the latest WarioWare, you can pick your friend's nose

Down on the Farm

Green acres where you want to be? Sign up for a farm subscription.

No More Laffs

A disgruntled candy king airs his hip-hop grievances

Blessed Are the Buttmunches

A disgruntled candy king airs his hip-hop grievances

This Week's Day-By-Day Picks

A disgruntled candy king airs his hip-hop grievances

Working Blue. And Brown.

Inside the dirtiest joke ever told is a nugget of unadulterated joy

Bad News

One more awful remake strikes out

Chocolate Kisses

Thanks to Depp and Burton, Willy Wonka just got weirder

Kowtow to Cacao

Chocoholics unite at Gourmet Showcase 2005

For the Kids

Films that are kid-tested, 'rents-approved

Going Wonkas

Willy Wonka hangs ten at Hurricane Harbor

Why Kids?

Robert Rodriguez follows his most personal film with his most impersonal

Ape Escape

Monkeybone, like a dream, is best when half-remembered

Microsofties

If Antitrust were written in computer code, it'd come up all zeroes

Sweet Dreams

Lasse Hallström greets the season with a huge dose of fine Chocolat

Master of Puppets

Curt Kirkwood is the heart, soul, and everything else of the Meat Puppets, no matter who's in the band

You Beta, you bet

The elusive Beta Band turns cuckoo clocks and laser gunshots into definition-dodging sounds that -- somehow -- make perfect sense

Dude Food: Burgers of the Northland

Noah W. Bailey​JG's Old Fashioned Hamburgers12101 Greenville Ave.972-644-8628Dude Factor: 9, or James Garner , on a scale of 1 (Ike, Taylor or Zac Hanson) to 10 (Wayne Coyne) Amigos, I have a confession to make. To me, anything north of Royal Lane might as well be Oklahoma. But since I've had some ... More >>

Beef Jerky Outlet: Herbivore's Nightmare, Carnivore's Dirty Dream.

​ Beef Jerky Outlet 4441 Bass Pro Drive #500 Garland 972-203-2337 Try: cherry cheesecake popcorn Don't try: Buffalo Bob's kangaroo jerky In Garland out by the Bass Pro, there's a beef jerky outlet creatively named Beef Jerky Outlet. There, you'll find a beef jerky shop clearly created by som ... More >>

Six Things You Could Do With The World's Most Disturbing Halloween Candy
Besides Eat It

Via GeekologieKinda looks like Willy Wonka's colon​Not sure if it's the photo, or the report through Vat 19 (the company that created this Frankenstein) that the worm has a "five-inch girth," but this "World's Largest Gummy Worm" is the most startling, dildo-esque Halloween candy ever. Vat 19 ... More >>

Saint Ann: Pretty People in a Pretty Room Eating Pretty Awful Food

Via GeekologieKinda looks like Willy Wonka's colon​Not sure if it's the photo, or the report through Vat 19 (the company that created this Frankenstein) that the worm has a "five-inch girth," but this "World's Largest Gummy Worm" is the most startling, dildo-esque Halloween candy ever. Vat 19 ... More >>

Top 7 Most Irritating Food Commericals

Ritz Hey Guy, how 'bout never driving your exhaust spewing Ritz truck near our food. Capeesh? ​It's been a long day. You're at home watching Top Chef. After three-to-four minutes of actual show, you get an ad blitz (Yes, this scenario implies you don't have TiVo).There's the ad where Burger King's ... More >>

An Apology to Wylie Dufresne

Great food, Wylie Dufresne. Sorry about the whole "shitter" thing.​Dearest Wylie Dufresne, You, sir, are The Shit. And by that, I mean the amazing The Shit, not the actual shit The Shit. The food that I watched you create and serve up last week at wd~50 in Manhattan was otherworldly. If you ... More >>

Pecan Lodge: Just Like Heaven

But it's hell for vegans.

White Russian Marshmallows & Other Booze-Infused Goodies

Mmmm. White Russian-y.​If there is anything better in this world than candy, it's booze. Or maybe it's the other way around. Regardless, when the two come together, it's something special. Greatness begets greatness. It's like when Queen and David Bowie joined forces and created "Under Pressu ... More >>

The Little Golden Ticket

Mmmm. White Russian-y.​If there is anything better in this world than candy, it's booze. Or maybe it's the other way around. Regardless, when the two come together, it's something special. Greatness begets greatness. It's like when Queen and David Bowie joined forces and created "Under Pressu ... More >>

Yo, Barkeep: Keep Your Straw Out Of My Drink

​You walk into a dark cocktail den and take a seat at the bar. A bartender hands you a small, leather-bound menu featuring drinks from 1930s with some wild modern flavor combinations mixed in, to keep the staff from getting bored. You're a classicist, though, so you settle on an aviation, and ... More >>

Top Chef Texas Highlights: Make Delicious Barbecue, in Texas -- No Pressure.

via BravoChris Crary, Top Chef Dreamboat, we're sad to see you go.​Last night's Top Chef delivered the most Texan of any conceivable Texas challenges: make barbecue that doesn't suck and do it at one of the state's best barbecue restaurants, Salt Lick in Austin. Oh, and make enough beef briske ... More >>

Back Away from the Fro-Yo Toppings, You Undisciplined Flavor Freaks

​Apparently you guys like it when I'm angry, so I was all ready to launch into my next rant about the odd concept that is the modern yogurt shop, including Yumilicious in Uptown, which I visited last week. But it didn't feel right to rail on the shop. Everyone in the place seemed happy. They'r ... More >>