25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

If you've had Lucia's Agnolotti more than once, you eat out a lot.
If you've had Lucia's Agnolotti more than once, you eat out a lot.
Catherine Downes

Everybody has that Dallas friend who seems to know everything about every restaurant in this fine city. But have things gone a little too far?

Are we on a first-name basis with way too many sommeliers in town? Is it easier for people to find you sitting at a table inside La Banqueta on Bryan Street than at your own home? (If you knee-jerk answered "Whatever, there aren't tables inside La Banqueta on Bryan Street, there's only a bar with like one chair and there's barely any room for someone to sit there, nobody would hang out there all day," there's no reason for you to read this list. You clearly have a problem.)

Is it time for an intervention? Here are 25 signs that you might be spending too much time dining out in Dallas.

25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Catherine Downes

1. You never schedule meetings for 9 a.m. on the first of the month, just in case you might want to make reservations at Lucia.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

2. John Tesar hates you.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

3. You've ordered so many Ascencion macchiatos that they no longer lecture about what a real macchiato is.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
via Fearing's

4. Dean Fearing's band wrote a song about you.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

5. Your car is parked overnight on Henderson at least three nights a week.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Scott Reitz

6. Your phone no longer autocorrects "Nonna" to "Nina."

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Alison V. Smith

7. When you order the omakase at Tei-An, Teiichi starts sharpening his knives and says, "Oh, it's on bitches."

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

8. You've been chest bumped by Jack Perkins.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Sara Kerens

9. "If found, deliver to Neighborhood Services" is tattooed on the inside of your wrist.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

10. You know where this artwork hangs.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

11. You avoid Mother's Day brunch because "All those stupid families be fillin' up my favorite restaurant."

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Cafe Momentum founder Chad Houser (right) with apprentice Malik Runnels.
Cafe Momentum founder Chad Houser (right) with apprentice Malik Runnels.
Stanton Stevens

12. Your watch is synchronized to Cafe Momentum's so you're sure to get tickets to their pop-up dinners exactly five seconds after they go on sale. Every time.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Catherine Downes

13. You refer to Off-Site Kitchen as "Kitchen."

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas
Naomi Vaughn

14. Guy Fieri's production staff called you and asked which Dallas restaurants he should check out for Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives.

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25 Signs You Dine Out Too Much in Dallas

15. Kent Rathbun once let you drive his yellow Porsche as an amuse bouche.



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