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After Scotch and Sausage, More Restaurant Ideas Allowed by Awesome Alliteration

Looks lovely
Looks lovely

If you've driven down Oak Lawn Avenue recently, you might have noticed a new restaurant taking shape. The exterior is now-ubiquitous horizontal wood, and it encases what appears to be some serious patio potential. Most recently, a sign was hoisted into place above the glass front door. Scotch and Sausage, it reads.

I love Scotch, especially the peaty, smoky versions that can make the whole room that you're drinking it in smell like damp, smoldering wood. I happen to like sausages, too. But in all my years of eating and drinking on this planet I have never held a bratwurst in one hand, and a glass of Talisker neat in the other. This is going to change soon.

I'll be there. For one, I could throw a scotch glass from my desk to this place. For another, Scotch and Sausage proves alliteration's usefulness in drafting new restaurant ideas.

Here are some more I expect to see soon.

Schnapps and Schnitzel There will be polka. There will be plenty of schnapps and schnitzel, too. When you're not sipping brandy from tiny glasses you'll be pulling hard on beer from a giant glass boot. Dreaming of a trip to Bavaria? Loose yourself in the velvety folds of pounded veal here instead.

Limoncello and Lardo This idea has real legs because the list of alliterative examples of charcuterie and Italian cordials and liquor is almost endless. Grappa and guanciale? Campari and capicola? Sambuca and sopprassata? Maraschino and mortadella? And for those who don't want so much bite, bresaola and Borolo: we'll put that on the menu too.

Proof and Pantry No, that's no good.

Lamb and Lager Picture a sizable courtyard, plenty of seating, and two fountains capped in a bubbling head of beer foam. Betwixt the froth a lamb spins over burning embers and diners are handed plates made of lavash. Use the bread like a mitt and grab your own meal from the spit. Drink from the fountains with gusto.

Whiskey and Watercress For the ultimate in your low-carbohydrate needs, Whiskey and Watercress will boast a sleek and modern dining room and appeal to the most discerning of roughage enthusiast. Tagline: "Reinventing the salad shooter."

RECENTLY REJECTED RESTAURANT RUBRICS: Popsicles 'n Prozac Moonshine and Monks Moonshine and Miley Cyrus Nuggets and Nordic Tracks Deer and Dramamine Listerine and Lamb Orange Juice and Orange Chicken Fanta and Falcon Budweiser and Bisque Raisin Juice and Raisin' Cain's Pepsi and Pickles Pepsi and Penis (Bull) Snake and Sprite Burgers and Bob Dole


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