We're already stockpiling prizes that we probably won't give away until the end of the year, if at all. Great prizes, too--such as 8 oz. flasks with the Dallas Observer 'Best of' 2006 logo (which kinda makes them collectibles and thus quite valuable). And if we can ever find someone to produce "Dude Food" baseball hats and "How 'Bout Them Knockers" t-shirts, we'd add them to the prize list too.
Last year's winner TLS did come in to pick up her cookbooks. I'm told she was wearing a pink Tony Romo jersey. Another winner, bruce, did not come in. But if I read one of his recent comments correctly, he promised to buy all of us at City of Ate a beer instead.
And I'm almost certain I read that correctly.
We're into a new year, though. That means no prizes--nothing, zilch, nada, etc.--for your efforts. So, here are the first non-winners of 2010:
To start things off, ChrisU brought up this in response to Days Gone Bite: "the great NRBQ had a song on its 'Workshop' LP called 'RC Cola and a Moonpie'. they also had a classic titled 'Howard Johnson's got his HoJo Workin'."
We know we're rewarding--or, rather, not rewarding--someone else's cleverness here, but ChriU brought HoJo Workin' to our attention and we love it.
Also in response to the MoonPie piece, Rev. Jack wrote "A Big Red and a Banana Moon pie, or a Nehi Grape and a Vanilla Moon Pie were nice alternatives, but the original Moon Pie and an RC were my fav. Now that I'm a 35 year old diabetic,the Mrs won't let me eat like that. But after reading this, I may have to go to Wal Mart and buy a snack for old time's sake."
We can see the headlines now: Hundreds of Diabetics Face Hospitalization Thanks To City of Ate.
At least cynical old bastard's COA-induced nostalgia had no possible health repurcussions: "Back in 1995 when driving back to Dallas through Tennessee I stopped to fill-up the gas tank. After walking through the front door to pay for the gas the first thing I saw was the moon pie display. That put a smile on my face as I headed to the cooler to pick up an RC. Went back to the room in the Motel 6 and had me an RC cola and moon pie. Excellent sugar rush. Don't know why but they did seem to go well together. But that was the first and only time I've done that."
RC, a MoonPie and a Motel 6. That's just perfect.
Brent D had a question after reading about Canary Cafe in Short Orders: "You won't try Mountain Oysters? Nice to know where a food critic draws the line. Is it a 'male-balls' thing or humane thing comparable to gavage?" Well, Brent, I'd like to say it's more of an intellectual statement on human progress.
Brent D also commented on MoonPies: "You youngsters... It's a Nehi (bellywash) and a Moonpie. Geez, get it right."
When Jesse found a moldy tomato on his Dude Food burger, curmudgeon responded with "HEY!! what's the big deal? Bleu cheese is mold, penicillin is mold, look at it as your h1n1 vaccination via lunch."
Commenting on an older post that mentioned Bolsa, Mugtoe wrote "I don't like joints with attitude that cater to hipsters. I'd rather grab some taco lengua down at El Padrino and eat it on the bench outside for a couple of bucks, than stand around modeling and being seen just so I can eat something really delicious for WAY too much money. Oddly enough, having said all that, I think they're a great addition to the neighborhood, and I'm glad they're here. Reusing existing buildings and sourcing locally makes yer stock go way up in my book. I just don't wanna eat where the cool kids go."
For more reasoning, we turn to TLS, who pointed out that "4 to 6 matzohs would be around 36 to 54 saltines."
Now we can complete that 5th grade math problem, the one that kept us from graduating, went on our permanent record and ruined our future's so badly we wound up here.
A few other comments we liked...Bradford's broken shoulder: "While in the town of the cow, the best Barbacoa I've found is at El Matate..off of 28th...the Barbacoa gorditas are from another galaxy."
Will: "Is there ANYWHERE else that has co-ed bathrooms?! Awesome... in a totally non-creepy way."
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And bruce: "I enjoy craft beers. I also really like various imports. (especially Beck's and St Pauli girl) The fact of the matter is those kinds of beers don't really translate into sessions at the ballpark, a breastaurant, or boxing ppv/super bowl parties. Those are the times when the unholy trinity of domestic light beers are the most sensible choices. You are also right on point about price. Some times call for a delicious beer and some times call for mass consumption."
In response to How 'Bout Them Knockers, chevytexas explained "Sal's is an institution even for those of us who've 'been abroad', meaning Yonkers or the Jersey Shore, god help us (I once pursued a Guido)."
But the week's biggest non-winner was clearly Ed in the OC, who added this to Dude Food: "Several years ago I was trying to procure a cheap date night. I had already gone large with a rental from Hollywood video. As I was exiting the parking lot, Country Burger with its drive thru window, was calling out like a long lost friend. I went with the double cheese burger and fries and got the little lady something on the lighter side. When I got home, she took one look at the greasy paper sack and punted. Not admitting I may have made a mistake, I ate my dinner quickly, so I could get thru the movie and on to better things. Unfortunately it was not to be. Halfway through the show some sort of chemical reaction took place in my stomach. Three days later and ten pounds lighter, I weakly returned the movie and tried not to cast a look across the parking lot. I thought I had buried that painful outing deep enough not to ever resurface, but your story brought back a flood of memories. Thanks a lot Jesse, got the runs. Sorry I meant gotta run."
Thanks to all.