Awesome beard count: 1
Snooty Dallasites count: 0
With the economy in the shitter, it's getting harder and harder for hard-working Americans to pay for the sweaty lap dances they deserve. I am honestly shocked that the whole lack-o'-lap-dance thing hasn't been a bigger issue in the presidential debates. I mean, if the American people can't afford sweaty lap dances, they're going to start getting really pissed. And if everyone's pissed all the time, shit's gonna start going down. And if shit starts going down, things are gonna get all effed up. I know. It's a frightening thought. Nobody is pro-fucked-up-America. The responsible thing to do: Be stingy at lunch. If you save some cash on grub, you'll have all the extra bills you need for when you see Kandi later, and America will get to stay un-fucked-up.
I was on my mission to save some lunch money the other day, and I stumbled upon Bangkok City, which is one of my favorite places to get change back. I really like this restaurant for a lot of reasons. One through eight being that when you pronounce its name, you get to say "bang" followed immediately by "kok," which is funny if you have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old. And, according to my mom as well as some dude who reads my column because he likes to make himself do stuff he hates (I do that too. The other day I watched The View even though I knew it would make me go The Hulk on my television), I do. Other reasons I like Bangkok City include but are not limited to: their fangasmic Thai iced tea, the free mints and the mirrors.
Once I was seated, I ordered the yellow curry lunch special. It came with a salad that looked pretty lame as it was approaching my table, but once peanut sauce dressing hit mouth, I DysonTM-ed that iceberg lettuce and tomato wedge. So good. The curry didn't disappoint, either. It had just the right balance of sweet to sinus-clearing spiciness. I highly recommend this place if you've got a stuffed-up nose that needs unstuffing. I will warn, however, that you should probably only get one dose of Bangkok City every 4-6 hours, and that after eating lunch here you could experience drowsiness, dry mouth and/or the angry shits.
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