Everyone's dreams have come true. Well, at least everyone who works, likes sandwiches and booze or is breathing. According to the Huff and one billion other webby sources, Manhattan restaurant Salumé is serving alcohol-infused paninis. That's right, boozy sammiches. And these aren't Subway Cold Cut Combos dipped in Natty Light like some kind of French dip gone horribly, horribly wrong. No sir. Salumé is an upscale place. And this is solely based on their website. It's really, really fancy.
Some of Salumé's options include a gin-drizzled crudo prosciutto, some kind of fancy ham called Parmacotto dripping with scotch (scotchy scotch scotch), and some other types of meats that warrant a hefty $18 price tag. Once assembled, the gloriously expensive panini is drizzled with your choice of spirit. One of the choices is grappa, a type of Italian
gasoline brandy that is notoriously toxic. And by "toxic" I mean "just glancing at the bottle gets you drunk as fuck."
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This might be the perfect occasion to cash in all those miles and take a little trip to the Big Apple. That is, of course, if this process doesn't reach good ol' Texas any time soon. Imagine how much easier it will be to get loaded on your lunch break. Two birds, one stone. Or four birds, depending on what you order. Supervisors (ahem, alternative weekly editors) everywhere are surely hoping this groundbreaking new plane of sandwichery reaches all corners of the country, right?