Yay! You're going to a Rangers game! Boo. It's a million dumbgrees outside. Whatever. You're a true fan. So, suck it up. Clearly, they need you out there right about now.
If you're going to a game at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, you immediately know a few things: 1) River of crack sweat. 2) You're going to spend a ridiculous amount of cash on booze and food. 3) People will be putting their antlers up in support of the Rangers because obviously every real Texas Ranger was part minotaur.
We can't help you with the back-sweating-into-butt thing or the drunk dude next to you yelling "Antlers UP!" but we did find a way to reduce the amount of money you have to fork over at the game for refreshments: bring your own food-and-bev-filled cooler.
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The Ballpark allows you to bring a "soft-sided, collapsible cooler" to the game.
"CONTAINER POLICY/ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES No metal cans, glass containers or alcoholic beverages may be carried into the ballpark. Only soft-sided, collapsible coolers without plastic inserts are allowed -- no hard coolers, backpacks, or oversized bags. All bags and purses must be 16"x16"x8" or smaller and are subject to search by ballpark staff."
So, get your hands on a soft-sided cooler, stuff it with a pack of sweaty hot dogs, a gallon of nacho cheese, cotton candy and a water bottle. Just be warned: Saving all that money might make buying one of those three-pound pretzels sound like a good idea. Do not do this thing.