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Civet Coffee is the Shit

Civets look more like rats than cats to me.
Civets look more like rats than cats to me.

It's not every day that you find the world's most expensive coffee in your mailbox. A friend of mine told me she'd received some kopi luwak from one of her friends in Indonesia. Then she asked me if I wanted her to send me some.

Duh?

I'm not sure what I was expecting. I figured I'd grind the beans up, toss them in a French press with some water just shy of boiling, and then sample something that tasted exactly like fucking coffee. So what if it's made from poop?

Kopi Luak, or civet coffee, is made from the beans of coffee berries that have been eaten by the Asian palm civet -- that's a mammal -- and then passed through its digestive tract. Apparently some enzymes in the civet's gut make the coffee smooth and delicious, but you have to wonder how desperate for caffeine was the first person to try this.

I know they clean the beans, thoroughly, and it's not like I'm actually drinking poop, but once something is submerged in shit and you let it dry there -- I mean the beans are absolutely saturated with feces. And you can't go from absolutely saturated to 100 percent feces free, so you're kinda drinking poop.

And let me tell you something. Poop is delicious.

The resultant brew was without a doubt the most non-offensive coffee I've ever consumed. It's so mild. It's probably the least bitter coffee in the world, and I'm sad I only got enough to make two small pots of it. I'm also sad buying more of it could set me back $600 a pound. Looks like I'm back to Dunkin' Donuts Original Blend for now.


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