ClickHole's 'Warm Egg Near Blue Square' Says What We're All Thinking About Recipe Videos

Whole Foods sells organic spider water, right?
Whole Foods sells organic spider water, right?
Screencap

If you've spent any time at all on Facebook  in the last year, you've been subjected to an endless stream of recipe videos, the short, peppy little videos that break down recipes into a visual step-by-step.

Bacon-guacamole "chicken bombs," biscuit and gravy casserole, Nutella cream cheese turnovers — thanks to Buzzfeed's Tasty, these dialogue-free videos have become ubiquitous on social media. Moms in particular seem to be susceptible — it's like the mothers of the world got together and decided that anyone who's created human life is obligated to share four obnoxious recipe videos a week, minimum. Bacon and cheese-stuffed mashed potato balls? Hot dog nachos with guacamole? Who is eating this at all, let alone cooking it at home? 

Plenty of people, apparently — Buzzfeed's Tasty videos can rack up around one billion views per month. That's not even counting the thousands of copycat videos made in a similar style. Admittedly, sometimes these clips can be entertaining or even helpful — who doesn't want to learn how to poach a pear in 45 seconds? — but it took far too long for people to recognize just how unhealthy some of these recipes can be. 

The good people of the Onion's ClickHole have seen the lunacy of it all and finally tackled the subject in a new recipe video for an enigmatic dish called "warm egg near blue square." Thank you, ClickHole. You're doing the Lord's work.


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