Dallas Farmers Market Shed 2 Offers
Heart-Stopping Specialty Foods. Yum.

Dallas Farmers Market Shed 2 Offers Heart-Stopping Specialty Foods. Yum.

Dallas Farmers Market 1010 South Pearl Expressway 214-939-2808

Try: La Popular tamales Don't try: Eating bath fizzies

Obviously, if you go to the Dallas Farmers Market this summer you should pick up some Texas peaches, some tomatoes and any other fresh fruits and veggies your heart desires. But, while you're there, don't miss out on the other amazing little eateries and specialty food shops that have popped up in the recently remodeled Shed No. 2.

Shed No. 2 used to just be my air-out-the-pits place. I'd get all gross spending like two minutes in the other sheds buying peaches in 200-degree heat (with a heat index of Sweaty Butt Butter) and then I'd head to Shed No. 2 and chill with their ceiling fans. One time, I bought some amazing curry and cinnamon from the Kurry King in Shed No. 2, but mainly this place was used as my armpit stop between the farmer sheds and my car.

Since this glorious remodel happened, I'm screwed. I have no choice but to stop in this shed oasis. It's just not an option for me to die of heat stroke at the Dallas Farmers Market. (White Rock Local Market, maybe -- but not The DEffingM.) Now, while I cool off walking through Shed No. 2, I'm totally going to be tempted by a bajillion new vendors and I'm never going to get out of food debt.

Exhibit A: Abundantly Aromatic. The sweet, unassuming little soaps-and-bubble-bath-fizzies-selling shop that instantly took 11bucks from me. You bastards! I came to this damned market for food! Now I gotta eat these fuckin' cool citrus basil bath fizzies for dinner! What the shit do you serve with a citrus basil bath bomb? A side of T-Gel?

Exhibit B: Old World Sausage Company. Great. In addition to selling "Mamas' Italian Sausage" (which I can only assume is made by someone with the last name Mamas), you also sell Chicago-style hot dogs for less than three dollars. And of course, they come complete with that nasty green relish that I love. I hate you for existing only to make me inhale a fully loaded hot dog at three in the afternoon when I'm not at all hungry.

Exhibit C: La Popular Tamale House. Yeah, screw you too, freaking delicious tamale-makers. What am I gonna do with a dozen pork and jalapeno tamales? Eat the shit out of them when I get home, get super fat and then probably bite someone's hand off if they try to make me share? Thanks for making me have to eat someone's hand, La Popular. Thanks. Now I'm a cannibal. Shit.

Exhibit D-Z: All the places I didn't even get to try this time that I must go back for, including (but not limited to): Ain't No Mo! Butter Cakes (I saw your mini bundt cakes lookin' all delicious. Damn you!), Lucido's Pasta and Herbs (What? Just because you have lobster ravioli you think I'mma buy it? Damn you!) and Texas Meats Super Natural (Super natural meats???!!!! DAMN YOOOOOU!!!).

The Basket: Abundantly Aromatic soap and bath fizzies, one dozen La Popular pork and jalapeno tamales, one hot dog from Old World Sausage Company.

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