El Atoron Torteria Y Taqueria: $1 Tacos. Is This Heaven or What?
Drive down Henderson Avenue past the newfangled, valet-only "establishments" named after flowers whose froufrou names you can only pronounce correctly if you whisper them ("No, it's Hibiscus. There's a silent raised eyebrow."), and somewhere near Ross Avenue you'll find a cute little brick building with cute little bars on the windows that has your lunch for less than $10.
El Atoron Torteria Y Taqueria offers so many options on its menu that I highly recommend visiting its Web site before you visit the drive-through. They have tortas, tacos, huaraches, pambazos (which, from what I understand, are tortas dipped in hot sauce), quesadillas, gorditas and so much more. When you do arrive at the drive-through, note the button next to the speaker box that's attached to the menu. Push it. It looks like a "don't touch me" button, but I promise it's a "push me if you ever want to order any food" button.
When the nice lady on the speaker asked me (in Spanish) what I'd like to order, I put my six years of public-school Spanish education to great use and said, "Una torta, por favor?" To which she said, "¿Qlqsd sqlskdfh reryr aoewiu qsdlfj?" To which I said, "Uhh...I'm sorry." And then she just switched language channels and was like, "Continue with the rest of your order, please." That's when I ordered The Gringa. I could hear a much-deserved smirk through the speaker. But what can I say? I'm a white lady, and I like me some giant torta with pork al pastor, cheese, tomato, onion, avocado, beans, cilantro and jalapeños. They could've named it The Alice. Or The Dumb Bitch Who Slows Up the Line by Speaking White-Lady Spanish.
DISD Spanish classes may have failed me, but El Atoron certainly did not. The torta is so tasty. Even better, there's way too much of it. And even better than that, it's six bucks total. Six freaking bucks for a Kardashian-ass-sized sandwichfest. Eat it. P.S. They have $1 tacos. And they take credit cards. Which means you can (and should) buy enough tacos to swim around in, Scrooge McDuck-style.
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