Finding the Pot of Gold at Rainbow Grill

Sometimes trying new things sucks.

Por exemplo, I joined Twitter this week. And when I went to pick a username, I found out that @bigbagodongs was already taken (total suckitude), so I had to settle for @thecheapbastard. Super lame, but I guess that's what I get for waiting so long to join the Social Nutworking Revolution.

I then followed that Internet lameness with more Internet lameness. I'd heard that Duke of Dogs in Addison had a great hotdog, and when I looked them up online Duke's Roadhouse came up so I assumed that this was the same place. You can rest assured that for this, Future Me is repeatedly fingernailing me in the eyehole. As soon as I sat down in Duke's Roadhouse, saw the hotdog-free menu and the entire bottom half of my waitress' ass, I realized that this joint was way too classy for me and that I must leave post haste. You have to know that the awkwardness is at least a Level Orange when your dad suggests immediately ditching your iced tea tab to head to somewhere, anywhere else.

And as it turns out Somewhere Anywhere, aka Rainbow Grill in downtown Carrollton, is really delicious. It's a bit of a hike, but totally worth it for the décor. Especially if you've had a massive fail kind of week. Seriously—nobody can sit in a room of that many rainbows (painted rainbows, double rainbows, crayoned rainbows, photo-montaged rainbows) and stay mad. Especially not once the food arrives. The cheapo jalapeño hamburger was so loaded up with jalapeños that I seem to remember that the rest of the burger looked fresh and inviting (I saw lettuce, pickles, red onion, melty American cheese and mustard on a wheat bun), but I honestly can't tell you how it tasted: my face turned red and my mouth lit up in giant, house-on-fire flames after the first bite. Yum. Luckily, there was a flashback-to-1950 chocolate malt to put out the flames. Who orders a chocolate malt? People who don't like to share their milkshakes. "Sure, you can have a sip. But, it's chalky as fuck and you'll regret it." Peeerfect.

To review: Duke's Roadhouse can suck it and Rainbow Grill is a wonderful little gem.

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