Sometimes trying new things sucks.
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Por exemplo, I joined Twitter this week. And when I went to pick a username, I found out that @bigbagodongs was already taken (total suckitude), so I had to settle for @thecheapbastard. Super lame, but I guess that's what I get for waiting so long to join the Social Nutworking Revolution.
I then followed that Internet lameness with more Internet lameness. I'd heard that Duke of Dogs in Addison had a great hotdog, and when I looked them up online Duke's Roadhouse came up so I assumed that this was the same place. You can rest assured that for this, Future Me is repeatedly fingernailing me in the eyehole. As soon as I sat down in Duke's Roadhouse, saw the hotdog-free menu and the entire bottom half of my waitress' ass, I realized that this joint was way too classy for me and that I must leave post haste. You have to know that the awkwardness is at least a Level Orange when your dad suggests immediately ditching your iced tea tab to head to somewhere, anywhere else.
Rainbow Grill 1107 S. Broadway, Carrollton 972-242-1621
Crickets chirping in the Nobody�s Here Silence during lunch at Duke�s Roadhouse: 10 Number of people in Rainbow Grill at lunch on a Thursday: 4,000
And as it turns out Somewhere Anywhere, aka Rainbow Grill in downtown Carrollton, is really delicious. It's a bit of a hike, but totally worth it for the décor. Especially if you've had a massive fail kind of week. Seriously—nobody can sit in a room of that many rainbows (painted rainbows, double rainbows, crayoned rainbows, photo-montaged rainbows) and stay mad. Especially not once the food arrives. The cheapo jalapeño hamburger was so loaded up with jalapeños that I seem to remember that the rest of the burger looked fresh and inviting (I saw lettuce, pickles, red onion, melty American cheese and mustard on a wheat bun), but I honestly can't tell you how it tasted: my face turned red and my mouth lit up in giant, house-on-fire flames after the first bite. Yum. Luckily, there was a flashback-to-1950 chocolate malt to put out the flames. Who orders a chocolate malt? People who don't like to share their milkshakes. "Sure, you can have a sip. But, it's chalky as fuck and you'll regret it." Peeerfect.
To review: Duke's Roadhouse can suck it and Rainbow Grill is a wonderful little gem.