Certainly you've heard about that brilliant slice of highway robbery that allows football fans to pay $200 dollars to loiter outside Cowboys Stadium and squint at a big screen. For those more interested in a Super Bowl experience than clinging onto a couple hundred dollars and the final shreds of their self-respect, we've made a list of a few duffel bag staples.
1. Thermos full of soup, or something else to ward off hypothermia
Out $200 with a sloshing Thermos slung around your neck, you'll be the hottest person who kind of watched the Super Bowl. Be sure to avoid anything with noodles or rice. They dam up Thermoses (Thermi?)
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2. Capsaicin extract
On the upside, capsaicin may raise your body's temperature. On the downside, it could send you to the hospital as it did one judge in the ZestFest competition in Irving on Tuesday. On the upside again, if you have a speedy paramedic, hospital rooms have televisions for you to watch the rest of the game.
3. Pajama jeans, bag of Funyuns and a Big Gulp
Go ahead and argue that you have way too much dignity for this. We'll wait.
4. Seven layer dip in individual ramekins If you're not actually watching the game and you're not eating seven-layer dip, what are you doing, exactly?
5. Actual Super Bowl tickets You may not have any food money left for the month, but you'll have your pride, which has got to be worth something.