I'm writing a monstrous, toothless, heavy-breathing, drooling, hairy beast of a paper this year. And by "this year," I of course mean "for the rest of my life." It's called a thesis; I call it the reason Pfizer is having a good year. In order to bestow upon the research community a contribution that doesn't suck, I am required to read many books. Many, many books. And none of them were written by J.K. Rowling.
Like any penniless, mostly unwashed graduate student, I check out these hordes of books from my university's sprawling, slightly creepy library. And much like everyone else on planet Earth, I am completely incapable of returning these items on time. This is also applicable to Redbox, Netflix and any other rental establishment. So incapable am I that I racked up a $600 fine on my library account once. But that was because ... like ... what had happened was ... it wasn't me.
This week, I managed to return two textbooks just 24 hours after the deadline, which is basically on time. My fine was only $12, which is pretty innocuous given my history. "What in the blue hell does this have to with a food blog?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you, dear reader.
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I paid my fine in food, y'all.
Finally, french-cut green beans have become currency. Well, kind of. It's only at UNT's Willis Library, and it's only until May 10. And they cap your late ass at $20. And you can bring things other than french-cut green beans. But STILL. Each 12-ounce can is worth one American dollar and will go to reduce your library fines. All the canned goods brought in by book-hoarding UNT students are donated to Denton County Friends of the Family, an area domestic violence protective shelter, crisis center, education and counseling program.
In its 33-year history, DCFOF has grown to serve more than 7,000 Denton-area residents per year through its multiple programs and advocacy resources. Acting as the sole provider of free shelter and outreach services in Denton County, DCFOF is dedicated to ending what it calls "the generational cycle of violence."
This comes as good news, seeing as how my irresponsibility with other people's property has never served the greater good before now. Cheers to UNT for its commitment to our funky little town that could.