Girl Drink Drunk: Trees, Best of Dallas Edition

The view from the balcony during the first drink and before the dancing girls.
The view from the balcony during the first drink and before the dancing girls.


So this week our Best of Dallas issue hits the stand.
Last night the staff of your Dallas Observer got together at Trees for a little celebratory shindig, wherein we imbibed, ate, listened to live music and watched tasseled titties. What? Yeah. There were burlesque dancers.

Seeing as how this girl worked on the writerly end of the mighty BoD project, this means that I (like most staffers) contributed more than some 3300 words to the issue (some winners are in the print product, and even more winners are featured online...which is good news for you food hounds who are looking for more sips and bites to put in your mouth than the seven printed pages handed over). But there are other teams that had to edit all those words, layout all that text, shoot photos for it, design things, make it look pretty and yep, sell ads to get it printed. Needless to say, we were all looking to let off some steam.

So there I am, rubbing elbows with co-workers, musicians, dancers, friends, artists and all manner of cool peeps. And we're all freaking out about what a flashback-mindfuck it is to be back in Trees, walking through that familiar entryway, hanging out on that well-known balcony, and yet not holding someone's hair back over the trashcan in the back near the merch booth and not watching some bouncer get blown just outside the back door. Like in the olden days, but way different.

Girl Drink Drunk: Trees, Best of Dallas Edition

And it was good times. So, you know, I wasn't going to blow it with any crazy shenanigans in the drink department. I decided to work with the Texas vodka that was on special (Dripping Springs) and perform an experiment to solve the question of which was better: vodka-tonics or vodka-sodas.

K, wait. I'll be honest. I didn't actually decide to do that, it just sort of happened because as it came time for the second round, girl drinker Marla suggested I go her way and try the vodka-soda since there's no sugar in it and thus, no calories or carbs. Chelsea held fast with her original drink of Miller Lite and I should've followed suit and stuck with my v&t, because after one, switching to club soda tasted like eating a cookie that someone left all the sugar out of. But the vodka was there, as was the lime. And it was purchased for me. Who passes up a free vodka drink? Not me.

After the change-up I realized something that really should've been obvious: It's all about the sugar. Sort of like how if you start off drinking soda in the morning, you'll want soda for the rest of the day, but if you start off drinking water, you'll be able to drink water, tea and lots of other beverages; it comes down to that first sweetened sip. If I had started off the evening with a vodka-soda, as I have randomly in the past, the drink wouldn't have seemed so restrictive. It would've been the night's standard and then tonic would've seemed too sweet. But that's not how things went down. So, when my gentleman of a colleague Jamal said, "Hey, whatcha drinkin'? Let me get you another." I replied with, "Vodka tonic! Thank you, sir!" He handed it over and damn, it tasted so nice, that first mouthful of vodka, lime, carbs and calories. Ain't that always the way...

As motley crew sipped our drinks up on the second level of Trees, the Ruby Revue burlesque girls and super fox Ginger Valentine were taking their clothes off and I was thinking to myself, "You know, Merritt, I think I could've done without that opening group number to the Black-Eyed Peas song because it's still stuck in my head, but those old-school solo gals are pretty fantastic...I wish I had their confidence...Any of those asses--I'll trade right now...Speaking of which, maybe club soda next time, yeah?...Might prove a better idea should you one day decide to confidently expose yourself...How are her boobs swinging in opposing directions?...Isn't it great how you don't have to be scared of the bathrooms at Trees anymore?!"


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