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In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

Yeah, we went there.

Most of these are dessert-related. And might force you to face your childhood because most of them are also a bit nostalgic. Which may or may not be an indicator that we need therapy.

1. Lemon Chill

In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

Available at any water park, baseball stadium or outdoor concert in the history of ever, the Lemon Chill is one of those things that you know is grossly overpriced but still gladly consume.The cup is bright and sunny. They even replaced the "O" in Lemon with the cross-section of a damn lemon. That's branding. It's always at the perfect temperature and consistency, and it tastes exactly like it did in 1995.

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In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

2. M&M's Pop a bag in the freezer and thank me via iTunes gift cards later. They are so chocolatey and cold. Then, they reach the perfect temperature the second they enter your facecave. This is, of course, assuming that your body is in normal operating condition. Frozen M&M's also work well when dumped into a bucket of hot popcorn. YEAH. YOU'RE WELCOME.

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In Honor of Titanic 3D (Or Something), the 10 Very All-Time Best Frozen Foods

3. Twix Ice Cream Bar Right? I didn't know either. I saw it in a gas station freezer bin just months ago and about lost my mind. Remember when you were 8 and your mom would NEVER buy you a Snickers Ice Cream Bar? This is the opposite of that. Because you are a college-educated, gainfully employed, mostly law-abiding citizen with a steady income and a whole pancreas waiting to accept this amazing gift from Mars, Inc. Go buy one. Or all of them. Buy them all.

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So good, it's ironic art.
So good, it's ironic art.

4. Orange Dreamsicle Somewhere in 'Merica, someone has just rationalized eating three of these in rapid succession because they have a fruit flavor involved. Ergo, it must be better than a chocolate-covered anything, yes? No. Which is why we will all end up like the last half of Wall-E (where everyone is all bloated and snarky on a hovercraft).

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5. Drumstick Oh yes. That precious little nugget of gold at the bottom. It's totally worth a trip through mediocre ice cream just to get to that thing. Drumsticks are, in addition to being an ingenious feat of food engineering, the perfect after-dinner treat. Or after lunch. Breakfast. Brunch. Trip to Super Target. Took the trash to the curb. Brushed the dog.



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