Meatless Monday at Jimmy John's is Fast, Easy and Under Five Bucks

Avocados are delicious AND shy. They're hiding.
Avocados are delicious AND shy. They're hiding.

This Meatless Monday started off like every other Meatless Monday, with a silent panic growing more powerful as the clock ticks down to 12. Breakfast on Meatless Monday is easy, mostly because it's Monday, I'm usually running late for work and I haven't (yet) discovered a meat-based cereal. I'm looking at you Ham-n-Chex, cereal of the future. Lunch, on the other hand, lands me in a world of hurt. Each step out of the office taunts me with the same eight words:

Where the shit am I going to eat? See also: Meatless Monday: Now Served With a Side of Cash

Meatless Monday makes this decision infinitely more difficult. I have an hour, must account for traffuck! traffic and must adhere to the guidelines that serve to uphold the valor of a one-day-per-week vegetarian. Without eating fries and ice cream. Or fries dipped in ice cream. Or fried ice cream. I wish I was a carnie at the fair.

Pressed for time and feeling rather green, I walked on over to Jimmy John's. I'm a one-woman planet-saving machine today, y'all. Bonus: Jimmy John's is everywhere, and they really are as fast as their coked-up commercials suggest. Surely they can shove some vegetables into some bread, accept my American dollars and send me on my way back to the rock quarry, right? Right I was. So I ordered the resident vegetarian sub and even tipped the cashier. I'm on fire today; I even ate that meatless mess outside. Like Captain Planet.

The Vegetarian is your basic meatless concept: lettuce, provolone, avocado, tomatoes, cucumber and the world's most polarizing of sandwich spreads, mayonnaise. For just under five bucks, it's a hefty sando and makes lunch on Meatless Monday a cheap and easy one. They'll even bring it to your butt in an office chair. My professional recommendation: get a cookie. You didn't eat pig flesh today, so you deserve a cookie. Happy lunching.


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