Oh No They Didn't: Miami says their BBQ beats Dallas BBQ

What's that Miami? Look at this meatacular spread from Lockhart Smokehouse. 'Nuff said.
What's that Miami? Look at this meatacular spread from Lockhart Smokehouse. 'Nuff said.
Sara Kerens

Today is the day we may finally have to kick our sister's ass. Our sister paper, The Miami New Times, that is. We've been letting the trash talk about the Mavs go on and on and yeah, we get it, we're rivals and all, but shit just got real.

This morning, our own managing editor Patrick Williams had to be held back with minimal force as he yelled, "Oh hayl naw!" when he read the last line of a Miami blog post from this morning:

"We're thinking that Miami smokes Dallas in barbecue. And basketball."

When web editor Nick Rallo read this:

"...Miami, being a cosmopolitan city with strong Latin and Southern roots, has two unique kinds of barbecue while Dallas has only one."

He uncontrollably yelled, "Your mom only has one kind of barbecue!"

At the time the Miami blog was posted, the pit masters at Lockhart Smokehouse in Oak Cliff and Pecan Lodge felt unexplained rage -- they knew there was a disturbance in the barbecue force, but what wrong could possibly have been done?

Let's just look at the facts. Here are some pictures of delicious Dallas barbecue:

Fact #1: The Big Rib at Smoke
Fact #1: The Big Rib at Smoke
Robert Bostick
Fact #2: Real. Texas. Brisket. From Mesquite.
Fact #2: Real. Texas. Brisket. From Mesquite.
Nick Rallo
Fact #3: Real. Texas. Chicken.
Fact #3: Real. Texas. Chicken.
Nick Rallo
Fact #4: Smoked Sausage at Smoke
Fact #4: Smoked Sausage at Smoke
Robert Bostick


And here's a picture of our butts, which Miami barbecue can suck:

Oh No They Didn't: Miami says their BBQ beats Dallas BBQ


Saying Dallas doesn't have the best barbecue in Texas is one thing, but claiming that Miami (home of a barbecue joint called The Pit that has horses at it that they don't even smoke) has better barbecue than any city in Texas is just plain stupid.

Dallas barbecue punches Miami barbecue in the junk any day of the ever.



Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >