Tortilla chip bucket refill count: 4
Gallons of mouth-on-fire salsa consumed count: 2
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Sometimes you just feel like eating something shitty good. Something you know is going to stick to your insides and probably shorten your life by just a little bit, but it tastes so good it'll be worth the heart surgery. I was on the prowl for some shitty good Mexican food (which means sitting in a pleather booth riddled with holes and ordering some form of enchiladas so smothered in sauce that they're hidden like treasure for me to fork out) and whenever I get that craving, Ojeda's always answers the call.
I like the fact that the instant you walk in the door, your clothes are sprayed with Ojeda's free parfum: Eau De Someone Else's Mexican Food. I like that even though this place is always busy, there's never a wait longer than five minutes. I like that they leave a pitcher of free salsa on your table for you to divvy out yourself. I like the way they serve you your food within seconds of having ordered it. And most of all, I like the way they never ask you if everything's OK or if you need anything else, because they know everything's as good as it's gonna get and that beyond a praline or a pack of Chiclets at the checkout, they're not getting you anything else.
Ojeda's Mexican Restaurant
4617 Maple Ave.
I got the enchilada dinner lunch special, which was two beef-packed enchiladas drowning in beef sauce, with a beefy portion of beans and rice. I also got an iced tea. (It came with a lime. Since I was expecting a lemon, this kinda threw me off. It was just like the time I expected Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman to have more chemistry than a rock and another uglier, horrible-at-acting, rattail-having fucknut rock in Episode I and then they didn't and that sucked. Not shocking, considering that their combined IQ is four, just disappointing.)
The service on the day I went was perfect. I think I saw my waitress twice: first, when she asked me what I wanted, and second, when she dropped my food off with the check. That right there is shitty good.