On the Prowl
Mark Andresen

On the Prowl

"When they walk in, they're all prim and proper, but give them a couple of hours...," says Scott Blythe, bartender at the Whisky Bar on Greenville, his voice trailing off into a knowing smirk. "It's funny to watch."

Blythe is referring to the men and women who hook up after an evening spent pounding reason and judgement into an alcoholic haze. Come the weekend, while married couples pore over the latest DVD rental options at Blockbuster, single people turn Dallas into one vast hunting ground, a carnal cornucopia, as it were. So what are the best bars in Dallas for sex?

A few caveats: First of all, everyone has a favorite. Chris, for example, prefers The Bone. "The name says it all," he points out, adding a gesture resembling a piston driving back and forth. Second, everyone will rule out some places for personal or scientific reasons--at least Suzy's disdain of country bars because of an "inverse relationship between the size of a truck's tires and penis size" sounds like the result of solid research. Third, no bar patrons interviewed for this burning question would divulge anything more than their first names--for some unknown reason. Finally, successful prowling requires attention to day, time, and age group.

So, on to the question at hand. For professionals age 30 and under, the weekend begins Thursday night at Cuba Libre on Henderson. People pack the upstairs, ordering martinis and other trendy drinks. "You can go into work hung over one day a week," assures Tracy. According to Gucci Gutierrez, bartender at Cuba Libre, women outnumber men by more than 2-to-1 on Thursday nights, and "they come in packs." In fact, the one key element of a pickup bar is a high female-to-male ratio. "If you can bring in women, guys will come in. Then other women see groups of guys inside, and it cascades from there," says Zbar bartender Andrea Seer.

On Friday and Saturday nights, Zbar and Whisky Bar and Carson's at the Tollway and Trinity Mills are the best places to hook up, according to our very subjective, unscientific survey. "Carson's has tons of women," says Glen of the giant club--it holds more than 900 people, a live band, pool tables, and big-screen televisions in one enormous room. On weekends, Carson's is packed with older professionals wearing leather, leopard prints, polka dots, and other unpardonable outfits. Zbar and Whisky Bar offer a bit more intimacy--and a less-inhibited crowd. "We don't generally get going until 10 p.m.," Whisky Bar's Blythe explains. "At the end of the night, women outnumber men 60-40, and you can watch the sharks circling." Bartenders seem to enjoy watching the antics, although at times, patrons cross the line. "The worst is when a guy is drunk and he's missed on all the women in the bar, so he hits on the bartender," says Seer. "Oh, how flattering!"

Of course, patrons, at times, cross all kinds of lines in their zeal to get some. Zbar frequently expels one couple, known to staff members simply--and graphically--as "The Fuckers."

"The back room is a haven for misbehavin'," Seer admits.


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