Pecan Lodge: Just Like Heaven

This summer, one of your friends will inevitably drag you to the Dallas Farmers Market because, "Ohmahgawdy'all!! Texas peaches are in season!!!!" Yeah, that's great. You know what's also in season? SWEATING ASS CRACKS. I don't know if you heard, but the high was 315° Eff yesterday, with a heat index of Total Recall.

Whenever this happens, you should resist the urge to punch your eating-local-loving friend in her farm fresh eggs and go to the Dallas Farmers Market. Why? Because once you're done haggling for blueberries and cussing out toddlers for stealing the best watermelon, you'll stumble upon the Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory of Texas barbecue. Open the doors of Shed 2 and I swear, as soon as that air conditioning hits you, angels will start singing, "If you wanna vieeeew paradiiiiiise, simply look around and view iiiiiiiit."

You've found Pecan Lodge, a Southern comfort foodsterant, where, yes, they serve fried chicken and barbecue. Welcome, friends, to meat heaven.

The Texas BBQ Plate (two slices of brisket, two ribs, one side for $8.95) told me that if I didn't order it, I was a pussy. So I ordered it. In your face, Plate!

Your options for sides are green chile and bacon macaroni and cheese, and you don't even need to know the rest of the options because this is obviously the only choice. In fact, the only reason to even read the rest of the options on their menu is to confirm that, "Yes, I'll have an additional side of the mac 'n' cheese with my mac 'n' cheese, please." Pecan Lodge's macaroni and cheese is better than watching Scotty McCreery run full speed into a screen door. It's better than petting a real Lisa Frank unicorn. This macaroni and cheese is so good it should be knighted. And then sainted. And then boned.

Also: The brisket and ribs were well-seasoned and juicy. Loved every bite.

You should also try a link of the new-to-the-menu house-made smoked sausage, which caused at least five people in the restaurant including me to make the "Oh my holy Samuel L. Jackson balls" face. (For reference, that's one step awesomer than the "Oh my holy Jesus balls" face.)

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