Plate Euthanasia: How to Kill Your Dinner Plate So You Don't Keep Nibbling

Plate Euthanasia: How to Kill Your Dinner Plate So You Don't Keep Nibbling

This is normal, right? You've sat down to a meal, you bang out your appetizers, then your mains come. And then because you eat slightly more quickly then the rest of your table-mates, you reach that portion of your meal where you start to feel full but they're still eating. Having a distinct desire to not be a total fat ass, you push your plate back a few inches and lay down your utensils. You're done eating.

Or so you thought.

Five minutes later, as your friends continue to shovel and you do all the talking, you subconsciously grab a french fry and stuff it in your face. The process repeats, and before you know it the rest of your plate is cleaned, and as everyone tosses their napkins in unison you slide back into your seat and become aware of the fact that you're now uncomfortably full.

It's commonly known that the nifty little receptor in our brains that tells us we're had enough pork fat for the night runs on a 30-minute time delay. We keep eating because we think we're hungry, or because the fullness mechanism is more of a quiet whisper when what we really need is a stomach that stands up, right away and screams: HEY DUMB ASS, THIS IS WHY YOU'RE FAT!

That's why I've been killing my plates the second I start to feel like I've reached the point of satiation. Not just pushing the plate away, but killing it with an act that makes the remainder of my plate completely inedible.

Sweet'N Low is my favorite mechanism. Just try and eat a french fry that you've laced with saccharin. A napkin draped like a death shroud is slightly less dramatic and It leaves your leftovers, should you decide to take them home, edible as well. But you can take a napkin off and start nibbling; you can't undo a packet or three of sweetener.

And no, I don't feel guilty about "wasting" my food. The restaurant wasted it when it dumped all that on my plate.

Bottom line: Find a way to kill your plate when your full instead of mindlessly eating, or you might end up like this guy.


Sponsor Content

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >