A press release from 7-Eleven today announces "Purple Friday" as an alternative to "Black Friday," the busiest shopping day of the year, when hordes of deal-seekers rise at the asscrack to trample each other for large-screen televisions, game systems and other crap they couldn't possibly survive without. But while your friends are feeding the capitalism machine this Friday, you can stop by the Slurpee machine at 7-Eleven and get a delicious beverage for free. And probably pick up some other crap you don't need in the meantime. Hey, at least the 7-Eleven capitalism machine comes in Cherry Dr. Pepper.
The free Slurpee schtick is part of the Dallas-based company's embracing of an offhand joke made by Barack Obama, wherein he said he'd hold a "Slurpee summit" between Republicans and Democrats. 7-Eleven's resulting "Purple to the People" flavor has been touted throughout its Slurpee Unity Tour. Why, I bet John Boehner is just one sugary frozen beverage away from believing in a woman's right to bodily autonomy. No? Oh well.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
Head over to the Slurpee Facebook page and print out a coupon for a free small drink -- you must have it in hand to get your Slurpee, and it's only available this Friday, November 26.