Since City of Ate readers are the sort who might hesitate upon being offered a World Series ticket, taking a much-needed moment to wonder what they might find to eat at the game, we offer here a cheat sheet to the leading concessions at Rangers Ballpark and AT&T Park.
The offerings in San Francisco are, perhaps, trendier. But the Rangers have nachos -- in 32 different locations.
Ballpark nachos -- with their stale white corn chips, cheap processed cheese sauce and mild jalapeños -- probably qualify as Tex-Mex heresy. No matter: There's no snack that's pairs better with beer and baseball's leisurely pace.
2. Big Dog
Nacho cheese isn't just for corn chips: This one-third pound dog is slathered with cheese sauce, chili and grilled onions. Calorie count? 948.
3. Cracker Jack
Baseball isn't anything like a box of Cracker Jack: As Cubs fans know, there isn't always a prize at the end of the season. But caramel corn remains the classic accompaniment to root, root, rooting for the home team.
4. Lemon Chill
The proper sugary drink to serve at Rangers Ballpark would probably be a Slurpee, but overheated Rangers fans are usually willing to settle for a frozen Lemon Chill, a fruity alternative to the once-ubiquitous chocolate malt.
5. Barbecue sandwich
Barbecue isn't very good in Dallas, and ballpark barbecue's worse. But as the World Series shapes up as an ideological battle, pitting gunslingers against granola lovers, it's a DFWer's duty to represent. Eat meat, y'all.
1. Gilroy Garlic Fries
There are garlic fries sold at Rangers Ballpark, but they're not anointed in olive oil, parsley and fresh cloves of garlic from the nation's garlic capital. Detractors complain the dish is crisper and sweeter in Gilroy, but not too many garlic growers have Lincecum's change-up.
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Wine seems awfully effete for a ballgame, but a park's that nearly home-run distance from some of the world's best wineries gets a pass.
3. Grilled crab sandwich
Fans at AT&T Park can see the San Francisco Bay, home to the flavor-packed Dungeness crab that Joe DiMaggio's father once labored to catch.
4. Caribbean Cha Cha bowl
Named for Orlando "Cha Cha" Cepeda, this tropical bowl features black beans, rice, jerk chicken and pineapple. Included on almost every list of the nation's greatest ballpark foods, the beloved bowl's especially popular with fans who don't want to wait in line for garlic fries.
5. Tri-tip sandwich
Texas doesn't have the monopoly on barbecue in this World Series: San Franciscans are inordinately fond of Santa Maria-style sandwiches made with bottom sirloin beef. Like the barbecue served at Rangers Ballpark, the tri-tips at AT&T probably aren't the best examples of the genre, but flag-waving Giants' fans will gobble them down anyhow.