Tongs count: 50
Skinny bitches count: 50
So, after a friend of mine gave me a hard time about never trying to find anything healthy for lunch for less than 10 bucks, I punched her in the face and then thought, "Ya know, Grandma, maybe you're right." I decided that it was time for a salad. And Salad Creations was there to answer the call.
3001 Knox St.
The setup at Salad Creations is just like Subway, only without the bread—it's like Atkins Subway. And if that two-word combination doesn't make you think, "Mmm, tasty!" I don't know what would. Overall, the whole experience was a little awkward. It was like going to a salad bar and making your friend build your salad for you. I honestly don't understand the purpose of having the salad-maker person in the first place. It's not that hard to make a salad. I know. I've done it before. All by myself. No matter how good they are at their job, they're slowing down the process of my food getting to me. And that's never a good thing.
I ordered the Favorite Chef (junior because it's still big and it was like two bucks cheaper), which comes with ham, turkey, roast beef, a hard-boiled egg, tomatoes, red onions and croutons—ya know, the kind of stuff any self-respecting chef would choose to put on a salad. I guarantee if you asked Jacques Pepin or Anthony Bourdain what they'd put on their chef salad, it's gonna include processed ham and turkey. I actually couldn't believe that they left off the obvious fourth meat choice: bacon. So, I added that along with some cheese and about a gallon of ranch dressing, and I was happy with my healthy lunch alternative. As my salad artist was chucking ingredients into my salad bowl, she asked me if I wanted my salad tossed. I laughed, because I'm 5 years old, and then I said, "Thanks, but tossage isn't my thing." I prefer reach-arounds. Big ones.
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My salad was salad-y—everything crunched like it was supposed to, it filled me up for about an hour and then left me starving until dinner like it normally does. If I don't go back to Salad Creations, it won't be the restaurant's fault. It'll be salad's fault for sucking in general in its attempt to be an entrée when it's clearly just a side.