When you receive a press release that says, in all caps, "SAMSON'S WANTS YOU TO SHOW THEM YOU WEENIE," you simply cannot look away. It's not just the all caps, it's the "YOU WEENIE" part that really interests me. Was it the fear of using the wrong "your" in this piece that drove the artist to avoid it altogether and just go with "you?" Or is it a simple editorial oversight? If it is a simple oversight, what about the misspelling of the word "wiener" in the same art? Maybe we miss the "you"/"your" thing, but you'd think -- as a hot dog place-- we'd spell check for any hot dog euphemisms, especially the one we're using as the name of our contest, right? I dunno. Fuck me. Spelling is stupid.
Whatever. We live in a world where dictionaries have decided that "literally" now also means "figuratively," so let's just get to the dick jokes, right? I mean the "weiner" contest.
From the press release:
On August 22, Samson's is inviting customers to come on in and make their very own specialty hotdog with an opportunity for it to be featured on the restaurant's menu for the next year. For $5, guests will design and name their own hotdog, which will be posted to the Samson's Facebook page for a week.
The weenie with the most likes at the end of that time will be crowned the champion of Samson's "Show Us Your Weenie" contest. The winner will be announced at Samson's 1 Year Anniversary Party on September 27, and also receive one free hotdog per month for the next year.
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And here's more glorious art from the press release. I desperately hope you earn the title of "Weenie Master Maker," which obviously means you're awesome at making wieners that control you.
I, for one, am going to do this. I'm going there, paying my five bucks, and making The Donginator (neon green pickles, mustard, Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts as a bun). Your move.