Super Bowl Haters: Here are Five Shows (Plus Appetizer Ideas) for You
The winner of the Puppy Bowl gets the Ruff Lombardi Trophy. Ah, We're Sorry.
February 6, you could get together with a bunch of friends to eat wings and yell at the Super Bowl on Fox. Or, you could not. If you're anti-Super Bowl, here's a list of five other shows you could watch, plus ideas for some crowd-pleasing coordinating appetizers.
Animal Planet: Puppy Bowl VII. TV Guide says, "Adorable puppies romp around a miniature football field in the seventh annual adoption fair for shelter pets, which also features kittens and baby chicks." Check out the complete, ridiculously adorable starting line-up here. Our money's on Oliver. Suggested appetizer: Chili served in dog bowls.
CMT: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team marathon. It's a reality show about picking Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. They even promise a "kick line and flying splits." Sounds like they've distilled the Super Bowl down to its hottest moments. Plus cat fights. Suggested appetizer: Anything with ranch dressing or tuna fish.
FIT TV: Half Ton Mom. The show follows an almost 900-pound 29-year old woman on her journey to lose weight through gastric bypass. If that makes you hungry, we've got some ideas for you. Suggested appetizer: McDonald's Bacon Angus Chipotle BBQ burger, Snuffer's cheese fries (fully loaded) and an entire Taco Bell including the drive-through windows.
End with To Catch a Predator!
MSNBC: Sex Slaves: The Teen Trade. Followed by Sex Slaves In The Suburbs and Undercover: Sex Slaves: Texas, then Trafficked: Slavery in America, then end with a finale of Predator Raw: The Unseen Tapes 3 (outtakes from To Catch A Predator). Don't worry, if you're still watching, The Unseen Tapes 4 is on after that. Suggested appetizer: If you're a parent, serve up anything your kids want, just so long as they never, ever leave the house. If you're a non-parent...starve, scumbag. We know why you're watching.
TLC: Toddlers & Tiaras marathon. The prequel to Sex Slaves in the Suburbs! No, we kid. It's a reality show about kids who participate in pageants and the parents who are dumb enough to spend thousands of dollars for the chance to win $500. But, you gotta love seeing all those fake tans and fake smiles on a bunch of 5-year-olds. Suggested appetizer: Mountain Dew, strong coffee and jalapeno poppers with sharp cheddar cheese -- or anything else that can get the bad taste out of your mouth.
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