Ed Bamberger, the one-time IBM public relations professional who transmogrified into a Dallas food writer pumping out prose for Dallas Home Design magazine, America Online/Digital City DFW and Where Dallas magazine, has traded his pen for a Cupid barb. Bamberger purchased the Dallas-Fort Worth rights to Single Gourmet (www.singlegourmetdfw.com), a members-only singles organization with chapters in 20 cities across the United States and Canada. Single Gourmet strives to foster amour among single professionals in a low-key manner via restaurant dinner parties, wine tastings and cooking classes. So we thought we'd kick the keys up a notch and offer a few quick, well-researched pointers and pearls of wisdom (verified mostly by scanning the inside back pages of several Dallas Observer issues) for rutting among the rutabaga. 1. Women should watch out for men who hustle food past their lips. Men who eat quickly tend to do other things quickly, too. 2. Steer clear of vegetarians. Their revulsion of meat may signal a covert disgust of all flesh. 3. Be cognizant of how potential mates order their steaks. Ordering meat rare often signals lethal skill between the percales. 4. Plump is good. According to University of Geneva professor Willy Pasini (never question the carnal authority of an Italian man named Willy), people who are up to 11 pounds overweight are generally more in touch with their sexuality than skinny rake handles who tend to be repressed control freaks. 5. Steer clear of picky eaters. They tend to shun touching, kissing and ceiling swings. 6. Watch out for messy eaters, too. They tend to fumble and force unexpected yelps. 7. Know your culinary aphrodisiacs. These include caviar, figs, bananas, pomegranates, bird's nest soup, anchovies and asparagus. Keep your eyes peeled for those flaunting a voracious garlic or oyster fetish. These foods are arguably the most potent culinary aphrodisiacs: garlic because it contains compounds related to sex hormones, and oysters because of their resemblance to...well, you know. For further clarification and details, contact Ed.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Jasper Russo, the Burgundy aficionado who served as Marty's wine director for eight years, has shifted oenophilic gears, driving his palate across Texas and Louisiana for Wilson Daniels Ltd., a wine marketing and importing company. It seems that schlepping a wine load in retail, which means never having to spend the holidays with your family, got to be a little too much. "I wanted more flexibility in my schedule, and I needed some new challenges," Russo insists. "When you work for a small family-owned company [Marty's] and you're not family, you also know there's a certain point you can get to and that's it."