Ten Predictions for 2013 That are Almost as Exciting as a Kardashian-West Baby

1. Taco Bell rolls out the Cool Ranch taco shell, as posted on Facebook just this morning. Don't tease, Taco Bell. Please, don't tease.

2. The onomatopoeia "meh" to describe food dies in a horrid hot glue-gun accident. Bonus: it's replaced with a word as resplendent as "onomatopoeia."

3. Pictures of pink slime go away for good and instead we all just promise not to sneak gross animal by-products into our food -- when we're not expecting it anyway (see item number 1).

4. Gestation crates continue to go away as well, and instead we all just promise to be decent about things. On another note: Last week I saw an actual real baby pig. "Sprinkels" was cute and playful. I'm conflicted.

5. Twinkies gets bought out by a distillery (preferably local) that tweaks the cream filling recipe ever so slightly and introduces rumkies, bourbonkies and the like. Sack lunches would be so much funner.

6. The phrase "farm-to-table" flies the coop and we no longer imply that vegetables might come from places other than farms. (Yes, I was probably guilty of this, but please don't search it. I'm admitting it here.)

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >