The Coppell Deli's Stubbs Breakfast Sandwich Might Kill You, But What a Way to Go

Coppell Deli's Stubbs: Your heart will thank you (when you put it down).
Coppell Deli's Stubbs: Your heart will thank you (when you put it down).

The Coppell Deli is a shack-like restaurant on a quiet street in a quiet neighborhood of its namesake town. I walked in and was happy to see only four people in the cafeteria-style dining room, two of whom were behind the counter.

It's a really plain-looking space: surrounded by white brick walls, mismatching tables and chairs populating the center, and relics from the Cowboys glory years everywhere. The only noise at this hour was Sportscenter, which was up on the two anachronistic flat screens.

There's no health food here, no organic suppliers, not even any legitimate coffee mugs. The menu is filled with heart-clogging indulgences that leave you in a pool of your own drool after reading it. And speaking of the menu, it's one of those old school back lit contraptions with the moveable letters, yellowed from years of use and volatilized grease.

I went for the Stubbs special, named after former Dallas Cowboy Danny Stubbs; if I'm going to cheat, I might as well go for broke, right? I gave my order to the man behind the counter, which also housed cigarettes and dip (is this a one-stop death shop?), and he pointed at the self serve-coffee pot next to the stack of Styrofoam cups. By the time I filled up, my sandwich was ready.

Wrapped in parchment paper, it felt like a book. I grabbed a seat and unwrapped my gift. The Stubbs special is a behemoth: an inch-thick layer of straight scrambled eggs, a sausage patty bigger than a hockey puck, too many bacon strips to count, and a slice of cheese slipped in to round it out, all book-ended by white toast, which I'm going to assume they toasted in bacon fat (why not).

It's super savory, greasy, and exactly what you want if you know what you're getting yourself into. The sandwich is so packed with meat that it's hard to even get your jaw around it.

Obviously we can't be eating this every single day if we want to avoid serious health conditions, like death. But this is an indulgence, so treat it that way. And come for the setting. It's like stepping back to a time time when roadside diners serving humble food used to be commonplace. So do some push ups, eat some salad, and enjoy the Stubbs special. Your sanity will thank you.

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