The Rangers have been a drink-worthy team ever since their inception. For 35 years, they've induced summers of binge-drinking to drown out varying degrees of sorrow. The last two seasons, on the other hand, have made us raise our glasses to cheer on our suddenly sweet swinging club.
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So in the spirit of booze-soaked baseball, grab your booze of choice (yes, Josh, ginger ale will do) and drink to your choice of these in-game cues:
-Fox shows a shot of either the Arch during away games or a cow during home games
-Beltre fouls a ball off of any body part. Double-chug if said body part is the catcher's coin purse
-Joe Buck pronounces Elvis' last name "Ahhhn-drus"
-Whenever you want to forget that you'll never be as kickass as CJ Wilson
-That god-awful earmite "Written in the Stars" song comes on during promos
-Nelson Cruz makes a baseball explode
-There's a highlight involving running-in-place Wash, during which you must also run in place before pounding your drink
-If you want to get blacked out, take a slug every time Tony LaRussa makes a pitching change or sacrifice bunts
As a fun bonus game, make a conversational reference to a random pre-good-Rangers player like Warren Newson. If the person you're with gives you a non-knowing "Yeah, heh, totally," then you take a drink. If the person replies with something like "Fuck yeah The Deacon!!" buy him a drink.
If you can't come up with a place to enjoy the game, harken back to one of the bars Lauren wrote about last week. We'll be right there with you, waiting for someone to make a Warren Newson reference.