You want to appear the most Irish out of all your friends, right? That's kind of the point. St Patrick's Day is a "who can tenuously claim the most Irish heritage" festival. Well, my friend, have I got the solution for you. Here is some entirely true traditional Irish food. To be honest I wish I had made it up, but it's all real. Cook it up for the weekend, serve it while everyone is drunk and in the middle of a party, claim your Irish heritage victory and be the envy of all your friends.
3. Black Pudding We've covered black pudding before, of course, but what you might not know is that this delightful combination of oatmeal, barley, onions and the blood of a pig is also a traditional Irish food. Even better, when combined with enough non-horrific ingredients to soak up the blood, it is sometimes eaten uncooked. Picture the scene, everyone's been drinking since 10 a.m., it's early afternoon, you bring in the black pudding. "Uncooked blood for everyone!" you cry, as all your friends depart the house, never to be seen again.
2. Skirts and Kidneys You may be thinking to yourself, well, kidneys are clearly the worst part of this, a traditional Irish stew. Is it, though? Skirts, it turns out, are "the trimmings from the inside of the ribs and the backbone". Mmm. Combine that with the tastiest of all internal organs, the kidney, and make a stew with that, onions, potatoes, salt, and water, and you've got yourself a perfect traditional St. Patrick's Day meal. Just call it "Irish stew", and then chuckle to yourself as your friends ponder exactly what this tangy, chewy meat is.
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1. Crubeens Oh man. Look at them. That's some delicious eats. Pigs' trotters, boiled. Not even fried to disguise the fact that you're eating the part of a pig that's been in contact with the floor for all its life. Nope. Just boiled, so they look exactly like what they actually are. Make sure you take the hair off first, and provide a suitable dip, for goodness' sakes. I'm thinking ranch. Consider them to be feet nachos. They need brining for 24 hours beforehand, so you'd better get going now on what must surely be the ultimate St. Patrick's Day party food. How can you out-Irish your friends? Boiled pigs feet. It's exactly what St. Patrick would have wanted.
Editor's note: Here's a little extra something we wanted toss onto Gavin's post (without telling him). It's about Irish food and sung by that great American hero, Bullwinkle.