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Top 10 Truly Frightening Cocktails

Pouring number five, harsh and overbearing with supposed Scottish influences.
Pouring number five, harsh and overbearing with supposed Scottish influences.
Photos by Danny Fulgencio

We were inspired a year ago by the promotion of a holiday drink called the Nog-a-sake--an eggnog and sake creation playing on the bombing of Nagasaki--to come up with other inappropriate cocktails.

With Halloween just a few days away, it seemed appropriate to dust off these dreaded drinks, these goblets of ghastliness these...oh, forget it.

If, for the December celebrations, patrons at a local restaurant could toast incinerated bodies and other fun Atomic age memories, then what's to stop a Halloween nod to Union Carbide, Idi Amin or others worse? Hell, in real life people knock back Irish Car Bombs, a little tribute to "the troubles."

To test out our list, we visited the Windmill Lounge, pulling the old "can you mix these together, we want to see what it tastes like" trick. No way were we going to tell owner/bartender Louise Owens she was really making a Chernobylini. In the end, we tossed out some pretty frightening cocktails--the Contra Libre, for example, and the Lee Harvey Wallbanger.

But we settled on ten horrific drinks.

10. Osama bin Lager
Essentially this is a non-alcoholic beer followed by a B-52 chaser. No need to be literal on the lager part, as any alcohol-free brew will do. Just sip the beer, down the flaming shot and repeat until...well, the party never seems to end, does it? You will need non-alcoholic beer, Kahlua, Bailey's, Grand Marnier and some matches.

The Osama bin Lager, flanked by its chaser.
The Osama bin Lager, flanked by its chaser.
The Idi-tini talks big, but don't be taken in.
The Idi-tini talks big, but don't be taken in.

5. Idi-tini
Years ago, Uganda was ruled by Idi Amin. He claimed many achievements, such as conquering the British Empire (a claim difficult to back up) and eliminating any potential overpopulation problems by forcibly depopulating parts of his country. So, to honor the "Last King of Scotland," you will need: Blavod vodka, scotch. Just swish a little of the scotch around the glass, as if it were vermouth and make a martini. 

The Pinochet Grigio Spritzer
The Pinochet Grigio Spritzer

4. Pinochet Grigio Spritzer
Even on chilly nights, no one will oppose a cool, refreshing drink such as this. And if they do, well, adios am...or you could just point out that Pinochet was once approved by the U.S. government itself. You will need a Chilean white wine and soda.

3. Treblinka Sunrise
They say sunrise and sunset lasts forever on Poland's vast plains. And this is a cocktail for that point in the evening when you want to sit and contemplate. From deep blood red to mournful orange, its beauty masks an evil stroke. You will need tequila, orange juice, grenadine.

2. My Lai Tai
This is one super-calley-licious cocktail. Just a mai tai, really--but the presentation makes it fun for any Halloween party. Simply pour into a series of shot glasses and order your guests to shoot. Or, follow orders by ordering guests to shoot (its a matter of perspective). You will need white rum, dark rum, orange curacao, lime juice, syrup.

Worst of all, the Cristalnacht
Worst of all, the Cristalnacht

1. Cristalnacht
Champagne is for celebration, Halloween for horrors. And with this, you clink to the past and hope that the evils in it never come again. You will need Cristal (or any sparkling wine), bitters, ice.


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