Two Words: Jalapeño Sausage

Wednesday Lunch Special: $6.39 for a meat, a veggie, a roll and a drink. Add a peach cobbler for a buck.

Corona bottles filled with barbecue sauce and sitting on a warmer count: 30

Guy yelling your name when your food's up count: 1


Sonny Bryan's

302 N. Market St.

Free pickle bar count: 1

In Texas, everyone has a barbecue opinion. Here, if you ever say "[insert barbecue joint name here] is the best barbecue in Texas," someone will say to you, "That place is pretty good, but you know where the best barbecue place in Texas is? [Insert name of any barbecue place that's not the place you just talked about.] The barbecue there is amazing." And then, someone will say to them, "Actually, there's this place out in BFE that's so good. We should drive there. It's way better than [the place that other person said] and it stomps [the place you said]." And, this barbecue joint smack-down will continue until everyone in the room wants barbecue but from separate places.

My personal barbecue opinion is if it's cheap, I'm eating it.* So, when I saw that Sonny Bryan's had new lunch specials available, I rode my horse on over there. As it was Wednesday, I got the Wednesday lunch special (they have a different special for each weekday), which includes one meat, one veggie, one roll and one drink for $6.39. I went with the jalapeño sausage (resisted making hot sausage joke here), mashed potatoes and a Diet RC (Yeah. Apparently, RC Cola and its diet version still exist). And after I finished my roll, a dude with a whole tray of rolls came around and asked me if I wanted another one. I did. (By the way, what an awesome job he has. He gets to spread buttery roll joy all day long. The person who invented that job wins.) For an extra dollar, I added peach cobbler to my lunchgasm. For me, it was the perfect complement to a whole barbecue-sauce-doused jalapeño-y sausage link, gravy and mashed potatoes, two pounds of butter with some rolls attached to them and approximately 100 ounces of Diet RC. Peach cobbler was definitely the right choice. For a meal that light, the apple cobbler would have just been way too heavy.

So, for eight bucks total, I filled all three of my stomachs. Which I thought was a pretty good deal—until I went to their Web site and found out that if you're really trying to save cash (for that trip to Egypt and that weed and those boobs), if you sign up for barbecue e-mails on their Web site, you get a coupon for a free entrée. Up high, Sonny Bryan's. Up high.

—Alice Laussade

*To be clear, this opinion applies only to barbecue. And yes, I do want a shirt with a huge cartoon sausage link on it that says, "If it's cheap, I'm eating it."

Tired of spending $10 for a mediocre lunch? Let Cheap Bastard show you how to spend way less for something better.


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